Course in Relationship Miracles

For Relationship Success - Keep It Real!

2012-01-28T10:39:00.000-07:00

"My relationships are clean of harmful fantasies!"
One of my greatest tools is fantasy. An imaginary future can be pursued and in some cases brought into existence in some or many of its aspects. "Follow your dream," say the world's teachers, "visualize your dream enough and it will come true!"

That would be great advice if my dreams came from my spirit with zero influence from my ego. The lessons of this course, for example, have used spirit-guided visualization and the results have always led to great good for everyone.

But what happens when ego-vested interests create a dream or influence a dream?

It helps to know that the ego has no ultimate interest other than pain, sickness, suffering, and death ... although it tempts one with promises of riches, power, sex, glory, etc. The ego is roughly equivalent to what most religious people call "Satan."

If I keep in mind that the ego's glittering promises are like the glittering spoon-hooks fishermen use and serve the same purpose ... to hook me so I can be yanked up out of my home, cut to the core, and fried ... then I'll have a pretty good idea about the kind of dreams the ego creates.

For example, my ego could tell me the new person I just met is just perfect for me. "Oh, those eyes!" "Oh, that body!" "What a mind!" "What perfection!" When the ego is in control, fantasy starts quickly. "Oh, if I could live with this person!" ... or whatever.

Following such an ego fantasy will always lead to pain because the unseen purpose of the fantasy is to lead to pain. If the fantasy does not come true I've missed the unspeakable joy of living in the now moment during the time I was fantasizing, and when the bubble bursts, as it must in ego fantasies, the momentum towards pain is tremendous. If the fantasy does come true in part, then the pain when the bubble bursts could be even more devastating even unto causing deaths.

The ego always gets me coming and going ... if I allow it.

But I don't have to allow the ego the use of this wonderful tool of fantasy. I can fantasize only when guided by my spirit or higher self. To train my mind in this respect is the goal of this week's lesson.

Each day this week upon awakening I search my mind for possible fantasies. Am I thinking the grass would be greener somewhere else? Am I thinking my life would be more wonderful if I had a certain person or certain kinds of people in my life? Have I caught myself wishing I had more money, or a better position, or a different situation? "If I only had this or that...."

I want to find all thoughts that serve as the cornerstones for fantasies. I cleanse my mind of ego fantasies by saying aloud with each such thought I find:

"Unless this idea came unexpectedly from my inner voice, I will not give it further thought."

I say this as many times as it takes to begin having the feeling that this fantasy is no longer going to be pursued if it's from the ego.

I need not fear that fantasies guided by my spirit or higher self will be inadvertently cleansed from my thinking with this exercise. A spirit-given fantasy will always keep persisting and persisting until I pay attention to it and go along with it. But the exercise will clean out ego-driven fantasies.

Then throughout the day this week I use as a mantra as often as possible the statement:

"Everything I really, really need I already have right now. Instead of thinking about future possibilities, I enjoy myself here and now."

At the end of each day I review my progress. Have I caught myself fantasizing during the day or in some way thinking that "the grass could be greener"? Was I able to dispel such fantasies? Have I been able to identify when my spirit would guide me to think about the future and feel the difference between these and ego fantasies?

At the end of my review I say aloud to myself a few times in order to reaffirm my commitment to learning this lesson:

"Each day it is easier and easier for me to tell the difference between an ego-serving fantasy and a spirit-serving fantasy."

I fall asleep satisfied with my progress and thankful. I might even say before sleeping:

"I enjoy fantasizing ... but only when guided by my spirit."

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Meditation Nourishes Relationships

2011-12-30T09:21:00.000-07:00

"Meditation nourishes my relationships!"
In the process of practicing earlier lessons of this course, I have dedicated myself to opening spiritually as never before. With this course I've been given a few assignments involving rudimentary meditation exercises, but none have yet been the most powerfully opening meditation. Now it's time to devote myself to a deeper meditation practice than ever, since meditation is one of the most valuable tools in existence for opening spiritually and maintaining spiritual opening.

As I've learned, meditation is not the only device for opening spiritually. Joining with a heart and soul opening partner opens me considerably. More drastically, as shown in the marvelous film "Powder," being struck by lightening could open me. More fantastically, being abducted by "visitors from outer space" would open me. But the time-honored method advised by enlightened spiritual teachers is meditation.

Some say that after a lifetime of meditation the enlightened one comes to the happy realization, "I need do nothing!" This is true, but this is precisely what meditation is ... doing nothing.

The purpose of meditation is to focus my mind intensely on doing nothing. Meditation is very literally an "unbelievable" relaxation of the mind because meditation takes the mind to a place beyond where beliefs are formed.

When the mind relaxes so much that it no longer forms thoughts or pictures, an enormous expansion into spirit takes place. When this expansion occurs I experience "out of this world" joy and love and peace and certainty which uplifts my life and the lives of everyone around me.

This week I dedicate myself to experiencing at least two 20 minute meditation periods daily, one at the beginning of my day to start off the day in the right spiritual space, the second to clean out my energy and bring me back to the best spiritual space after things have settled down following the busiest part of my day.

At the beginning of each meditation period I simply ask my mind to show me what it feels like to have no thoughts or mental pictures. Once I feel the feeling, I focus on holding onto the experience of thought-free, picture-free being as long as possible.

If my focus slips and I find myself with thoughts or pictures in my mind, I simply ask again to be shown what my mind feels like before I ever form thoughts or pictures, and once again I focus intensely on the meditative experience.

If it helps, I can pretend I'm a sheriff hiding with my motorcycle behind a billboard watching for thoughts or pictures to speed by so I can catch them. Not wanting to be caught, they will not come and I will have achieved my goal of a still, quiet mind.

My ego hates meditation and will distract me with a passion. My ego will do everything it can to insert thoughts, pictures, feelings of boredom or curiosity ... whatever it can insert ... to pull me out of the experience of true meditation. I must be vigilant against the ego's insertions. I am determined to not break focus during meditation.

These are my objectives this week: to meditate twice each day and to be utterly determined to keep my focus in the thought-free, picture-free realm as much as possible during meditation.

I gladly pursue these goals because meditation greatly enhances my ability to radiate undreamed of love and joy into relationships.

At the end of each day, before falling asleep, I give attention to how glad my spirit is that I'm devoting myself to meditation. I might say something like:

"Unbelievable! Being in heaven is the easiest thing on earth!"

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Course in Political Miracles

2011-11-24T13:16:00.000-07:00

"I do not ignore eternal relationship truths!"
Relationships are not what they once were. In some ways relationships have improved from the old days. People have learned to communicate better in recent years, there is less manipulation and control in relationships nowadays, and people are no longer terrified to let go of nonproductive arrangements.

But in the rush to modernize relationships time-honored values have sometimes been flushed down the drain, babies thrown out with the bathwater, leading to more relationship problems than necessary.

A good relationships course would have its students asking:

"What are the natural inbred values which, if ignored in relationships, render the relationship unnatural and therefore ultimately pain-producing?"

This course does not attempt to tell me what these values are, but rather gently reminds me there are such values and invites me to discover them for myself.

Maybe women have some natural genetically influenced traits which cannot be ignored in relationships. Maybe for relationships to work best men cannot be who they are not designed to be. Maybe there are certain relationship truths which our ancestors always knew instinctively and which cannot be thrown away even though we have new relationship technology.

My job this week is to ask these kinds of questions and seek answers inside myself where the answers to all questions dwell.

As I awaken each day this week, I ask sincerely to be shown what are the natural and inherent truths of relationships which can only be denied at risk. If I like religious language I can call my asking a "prayer." If I'm more scientifically inclined, I can call myself a "dedicated investigator."

Even scientists admit that answers to great questions are more often than not heard inside themselves with inner hearing rather than figured out by intellectual means. Many years ago the head of the Physics Department at a famous university announced a tremendous breakthrough in the understanding of subatomic physics. The announced breakthrough did not come from his team of scientists who had worked many years with no results. The breakthrough was given to him by a young man whose habit it was to sit on the roof of his house, smoke marijuana, and converse with "visitors from outer space."

Some would say it's a sad state of affairs when visitors from outer space have to feed us our scientific breakthroughs. Others would say it's been that way all along. If there were such a thing as visitors from outer space, they themselves would probably say, "Who do you think is writing this relationships course?"

The truth is perhaps closer to home. Maybe inner space is outer space and the inspirations that have always been given to scientists, inventors, writers and artists have come from within. Perhaps "visitors from outer space" are visiting flashes of enlightenment from inner space.

At any rate, I devote this week to seeking answers about relationships ... answers I may never previously have looked deep enough inside myself to see. My goal this week is to be alert, to watch, to listen inside ... and to pay attention to answers coming.

I might further the process by stating to myself many times this week some such statement as:

"I see clearly the natural truths about relationships that are sometimes being ignored in this day and age."

Each day this week before retiring for the day I review any insight or "light bulb" newly turned on in my mind, and any understanding I've gained. To each of the principles thus dis-covered, I declare my allegiance, saying to myself as many times as it takes to feel truly dedicated:

"I will not ignore this principle in my relationships, no matter what others are doing!"

Before falling asleep this week I feel the pleasure of knowing I have discovered truths just by asking with all my heart, and I feel the joy of being grounded in the foundation of truths thus discovered.

I might even say aloud to myself:

"What a joy to discover truth for myself and live by it! What an incredible joy!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Relationships Healed and Made Joyous ... Right Now

2011-10-23T09:02:00.000-06:00

"I see my relationship partner now ... with no past!"
Literally speaking, there is no past. Now ... is the only time there is. Now ... is when things happen. Now ... is the only time I can experience.

In my mind I can imagine a past, but such imaging is happening now, isn't it? The now moment is still now and what seemed like the past is no longer present.

In other words, every moment is now and the past can only exist in my imagination. This is crucial to understand because I do not have to let the so-called "past" effect the way I am seeing my relationship partner now.

There is a world of difference between seeing a person with all of my past judgments present and seeing a person as that person is right now. The two ways of seeing show me two different worlds entirely.

In fact, I literally cannot see my relationship partner if I'm looking through the window of my past judgments. All I could see in that case is an illusion of my relationship partner, an illusion that doesn't really exist.

Would I want to go through my relationship reacting to an illusion? Or would it be preferable to be with the here and now reality?

I may not be able to answer that question intellectually. I might actually need to experience the difference and let my experience give me my sure answer. That is what I need to accomplish to enjoy the fullness of relationship joy.

I want to practice seeing differently as I come into contact with various people during the day, seeing them brand new and fresh, as if I had never known them in the past. I might even say in my mind, "I see you as you are right now ... as if I have no past knowledge of you."

Every time I see a stranger, maybe while in a supermarket checkout line, or while paying for gas for my car, or while talking to a receptionist, I think to myself something like:

"How would this person look to me if had no past learning with which to make any judgments?"

The idea is to keep practicing seeing people fresh and new, as if I myself knew nothing. Once I've had enough practice at this, I can easily transfer this practice to any relationship partner. Seeing a relationship partner as if I've never seen this person before will keep relationship problems from even getting started.

Maybe before retiring each day I give myself the pleasure of a meditation period during which I review my progress. When I remembered to see people in the now moment without interference from the past, how did it feel? How did people respond? What good came about?

I might even smile at my progress and think to myself:

"Wow! I'm seeing a different world altogether!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Does Christ See a Higher Purpose in Your Relationships?

2011-09-25T08:13:00.001-06:00

Do your relationships simply serve earthly purposes? Or do you think they have spiritual value?

Certainly we learn from others. Certainly we learn at least something from every relationship. And it's not far-fetched to imagine that if angels were watching they would see each of our relationships as a teaching/learning device.

Quoted below is how Jesus Christ states this in his modern revelation for the 21st century, A Course in Miracles. To understand Jesus, think of yourself in terms of the ancient language Jesus uses as "a Child of God" or a "teacher of God."

"Each teaching-learning situation involves a different relationship at the beginning, although the ultimate goal is always the same; to make of the relationship a holy relationship, in which both can look upon the Son of God as sinless. There is no one from whom a teacher of God cannot learn, so there is no one whom he cannot teach. However, from a practical point of view he cannot meet everyone, nor can everyone find him. Therefore, the plan includes very specific contacts to be made for each teacher of God. There are no accidents in salvation. Those who are to meet will meet, because together they have the potential for a holy relationship. They are ready for each other."

The first level of relationships Jesus mentions are seemingly superficial encounters.

The second level of relationships, according to Jesus, are situations in which people come together for finite periods of time, engage in a relatively intense teaching/learning relationship, then separate.

Finally, Jesus discusses the third level of relationships, which is lifelong.

"The third level of teaching occurs in relationships which, once they are formed, are lifelong. These are teaching-learning situations in which each person is given a chosen learning partner who presents him with unlimited opportunities for learning. These relationships are generally few, because their existence implies that those involved have reached a stage simultaneously in which the teaching-learning balance is actually perfect. This does not mean that they necessarily recognize this; in fact, they generally do not. They may even be quite hostile to each other for some time, and perhaps for life. Yet should they decide to learn it, the perfect lesson is before them and can be learned. And if they decide to learn that lesson, they become the saviors of the teachers who falter and may even seem to fail. No teacher of God can fail to find the Help he needs."

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

The Happiest Relationship Thought

2011-08-25T18:12:00.000-06:00

"Everything is just exactly as it should be!"
It's one thing to see that everything is going wrong in the world.

It's another thing to grasp that everything is working together for a perfect outcome in every situation everywhere.

Which of these ways I choose to see things is going to largely determine my emotional state, true or false?

If I see things in a positive light, I'm going to feel wonderful. If I see things from a negative point of view, I'm going to be dragged down by anger, fear, or whatever other emotion I'm generating for myself that feels like hell.

Certainly heaven is here and now ... or hell is here and now ... depending on how I'm viewing things.

Therefore what I really want to do is always see things in a positive light so I feel great and my good vibrations affect everyone around me in a positive way.

But how do I see things in a positive light always, no matter what?

I do this by re-training my mind to focus away from negative viewpoints. I train myself to know that everything is just exactly as it should be.

This takes some explanation.

What if all I could see was the very little tip of the iceberg while the big giant foundation of the iceberg was not visible to me? So let's say I could see maybe 5% of what was really going on while 95% of what was really going on is not something I can see or make a judgment about.

Now there are two possibilities. Either all these 95% hidden inter meshing gears of the universe are working together for the highest good and everything is just exactly the way it should be, or ... the universe follows no rhyme or reason.

The universe is orderly or not, can be trusted or not.

Science and religion both tell us there are natural laws, universal laws, at work which can be trusted. If that's true then everything is just exactly as it should be.

One advantage of knowing that everything is just exactly as it should be is that I can relax and enjoy life. Sure there are going to be pains if I or others temporarily step "off course". Since pain is one of the universe's course-correction devices, even pain can be seen as part of the universe working together for every one's highest good.

A second advantage of knowing that everything is just exactly as it should be is that others around me don't have to be manipulated or resisted in any way. They are free ... and that makes for marvelous relationships.

So this week I learn to direct my mind away from seeing negatively.

To start each day this week on the right note, as I awaken I say to myself slowly and meaningfully at least 25 times over the statement of this week's lesson:

"Everything is just exactly as it should be."

During the day I take a mini-break each hour to close my eyes, take a few deep relaxing breaths, and again say to myself this statement for a full 5 minutes:

"Everything is just exactly as it should be."

Finally, at the end of the day I ask my mind to give me memories of any negative emotions which arose during the day and the situations involved. While each such memory is in mind I again say aloud a few times, speaking directly to the memory:

"Everything is just exactly as it should be."

Before falling to sleep, I ask myself, "How does it feel to know that everything is just exactly as it should be?" What is the feeling?

I fall asleep knowing and feeling that all is well.

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Worst Relationship Slogan: "In Worry We Trust!"

2011-07-22T18:33:00.002-06:00

"Replacing worry with trust
gives me the relationship I want!"

With last week's lesson I saw that guilt leads to the destruction of relationships. This week I expand the principle beyond one specific form of worry based on past actions (guilt) to all forms of worry in general.

It would be impossible to name a worry of any kind that does not have fear as its base and I know from experience I cannot be in fear and in love at one and the same moment. So I know from experience that the very essence of successful relationships, love, is not present in moments of worry.

It's as simple as this: while I am worrying, I am not in love.

Of course I can quit worrying and return to love, but during the moments I am worrying I am not in love.

Someone might argue, "Hey, who cares? As long as you are loving most of the time."

But why would I want to worry at all? Worry doesn't taste good, fouling my mouth and giving me bad breath; worry doesn't smell good, causing unpleasant body odor; and worry doesn't feel good, robbing me of the only feeling that is natural, joyous, and healthy ... the feeling of love.

No one can enjoy for very long being in relationship with a worrier.

It's also true that worrying never solved anything. Worry is useless.

Well no, worry is not useless to the ego. The ego wants me to suffer, so worry serves a very good ego purpose. Worry is an ego device to have me suffering about future possibilities which have not yet happened and may never happen.

Some might argue, "At least when I worry about someone it shows that I care!"

That's what the ego would have us believe ... that we can care for someone or help someone by suffering inside ourselves. But I am increasingly learning that the ego does not have any one's best interests in mind.

When I look more carefully, I see that the only way to truly care for someone or help someone is by the opposite of worrying ... trusting.

If I worry about a friend, for example, I could literally send out enough negative energy to cause the very happening I fear, like a self-fulfilling prophecy. On the other hand, if I trust my friend is going to be alright, I am sending such a boost of positive energy that miracles will happen all around to keep him or her out of trouble.

In other words, worry makes things worse. Trusting heals and makes things better.

But how do I keep myself from worrying?

Well, how about training my mind to trust?

Each day this week as I awaken I will say slowly aloud to myself 10 or 15 times over:

"Today if I catch myself starting to worry, I will stop and switch to trust."

I repeat this statement slowly in order to give my subconscious mind time to show me mental pictures of possible situations that could arise during the day where I might be tempted to worry.

With each situation I'm shown, the statement I am using should automatically engender a picture in my mind of switching from worry to trust. If my subconscious mind doesn't give me such a mental picture, I create such a picture in my mind by activating my imagination consciously.

Then each hour during the day, I take 5 minutes of meditation to again use the same statement or some similar statement such as:

"This coming hour if I'm tempted to worry, I will switch to trust."

"I can't help (name situation) by worrying, but I can help by trusting."

"If I worry, things will get worse. If I trust, miracles will start happening like I've never seen."

Finally at the end of each day I will consciously attempt to access the feeling of total trust inside myself and hold onto the feeling as long as possible. To help access the feeling I might say to myself:

"Total trust ... are you there? I want to feel you. What do you feel like?"

If I ask persistently enough, the feeling will come. Then I merely make a determination to keep the feeling present and stay with the feeling.

Before falling to sleep, I might say to myself:

"I go to sleep with trust as my friend! I will awaken with trust as my partner!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Quickest Solution To Any Relationship Difficulty

2011-06-22T09:27:00.007-06:00

"I agree quickly and my relationship is healed!"

The purpose of this course is not to advocate any particular religious beliefs or any religion at all. In fact religious beliefs have historically tended to be stumbling blocks to harmonious relationships.

On the other hand, the teachings of true spiritual teachers, be they of any religion or no religion, are often extremely valuable and practical, so much so that this course cannot afford to not use the teachings of the greatest spiritual teachers if it helps create better relationships.

Actually, all really great spiritual teachers teach the same teachings. Whatever Buddha teaches, Jesus teaches. Whatever Lao Tzu teaches, Muktananda teaches. These teachings are called "universal truths."

One incredibly valuable universal truth is that agreement brings on the experience of oneness and we are all in agreement at some deep level despite the appearance of disagreements on the surface. Jesus told his disciples, "Agree with your adversary quickly," by which he really meant something like, "Find the place inside of you where you agree ... and you will feel your oneness. Oneness is everything."

This week I want to practice agreeing quickly. Only my ego would want to disagree and I'm not interested in letting my ego have control. My spirit is totally agreeable and is only interested in agreement.

As I awaken each day this week I spend as much as fifteen minutes preparing my mind for the day's breakthrough agreements. I let my subconscious mind give me pictures of situations that could conceivably arise during the day in which I would be tempted to disagree with someone. With each such situation, I picture myself looking deep inside to a place where I agree.

With each picture in my mind I say to myself:

"I agree in order to feel oneness, and oneness solves everything."

Each hour during the day I take a short five minute period for review of my progress. During the last hour was I tempted to be in disagreement? Did I switch into agreement? Did I feel oneness? Did the situation change for the better? Did healing occur?

At the end of each day, I take a full twenty minute meditation period during which I practice feeling oneness with as many people as come to mind even though they might not be physically present. Whoever comes to mind I simply say:

"At some level (person's name), we are in agreement and it's easy to feel oneness with each other."

I say this until I begin to actually feel the oneness in each case. Strangely enough when I practice feeling oneness with someone I might have disagreed with, the universe tends to re-arrange itself and we find ourselves agreeing.

So I have something to be very grateful for before falling asleep. My whole world is becoming more agreeable. Before sleeping I say to myself a few times a statement of this week's lesson such as:

"I totally love healing my relationships by agreeing quickly!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Tempted To Feel Guilty? Guilt Serves No Good Purpose!

2011-05-22T11:12:00.000-06:00

"Free of guilt, my relationship thrives!"

Some people say guilt serves a good purpose. They would tell me guilt is a tool of my conscience which alerts me that I'm doing something that shouldn't be done and therefore influences me to stay on the "right track".

Such an explanation does not stand up under logical scrutiny.

For one thing, nobody can say what a "conscience" is other than a subconscious matrix of culturally derived values. In other words, in a society where it is considered the highest and most glorifying honor for a mother to sacrifice her firstborn to the gods on a bloody altar, the knife-wielding mother would feel ecstasy, not guilt.

If guilt is related to conscience then guilt is relative. But if guilt is relative, anything goes. A murderer doesn't have to feel guilty. A murderer of millions, like Adolph Hitler, could feel justified. Guilt would have nothing to do with any absolute right track.

Examining the issue, I have no choice but to consider the possibility that although feelings of guilt are related to values, they have nothing to do with keeping me on any truly right track.

When I consider that it's possible to make a mistake and yet not feel guilty, it then becomes clear that guilt has nothing to do with keeping me on any right track, but is merely a device my ego uses whenever it can get away with it to make me unhappy.

Let's look closer to be sure. Imagine I make a mistake. What are my options?

If I listen inside to my spirit, I might hear something like, "Be at peace. A mistake is not the end of the world." My spirit would never counsel me to be unhappy about mistakes, true or false?

But if I listen inside to a different voice and hear something like, "Oh, you fool! You are such a fool! What did you do?", then I know I'm not hearing my spirit, true or false? So I must be hearing my ego and if there is one thing I don't want to listen to it's my ego.

Guilt is ego-advised and it serves no good purpose.

But worse yet, guilt smothers out the light and love in relationships.

By very definition, if I'm feeling guilt my heart is not fully open and I'm not loving. Just as love feels good and tells me that I am good, guilt feels bad and tells me that I am bad.

If I buy into the idea that I am bad, guess what kind of relationship I am going to create for myself?

A punishing relationship? A relationship that beats me up and kills my spirit? A relationship that gets even with me for everything I've ever done and felt guilty about?

How did I guess?

In such a case, does my ego call a spade a spade and place responsibility on myself for the way my relationship partner treats me?

Hah! Does anyone really think the ego would voluntarily expose itself and its tricks? No, the ego places the blame "out there" on my relationship partner. My ego tells me my partner is to blame ... my partner is a bad guy ... my partner deserves condemnation.

Oops! So much for the relationship!

Of course my partner in such a case truly is to blame ... but my partner in such a case is not who I think it is. All along my hidden partner has been ... my ego!

Clearly I no longer want the ego as partner and clearly I want to rid myself of ego-influenced guilt and guilt tendencies.

Each day this week I begin the day with a statement of intent for the day. Here are some possible sample statements:

"Today I love my mistakes, using them as excuses to choose happiness."

"Today I laugh at my mistakes and laugh at any tendencies to feel guilty."

"Today I view mistakes as having no effect whatsoever on my joyous spirit."

Each hour during the day I reserve five minutes for a little meditative period during which I attempt to feel what it feels like to be totally innocent and guiltless. I might ask my inner self:

"What does it feel like to have no guilt at all?"

"What does it feel like to be totally innocent?"

Then I allow myself to feel the feeling as fully as possible. The more I practice feeling guiltless, the more I'll be willing to hang out in guiltlessness. The more I hang out in guiltlessness, the better I will feel about myself. The better I feel about myself, the better all my relationships will be.

At the end of each day this week I pretend I have an imaginary trophy room full of golden trophies, one for each lesson learned with this course. Then I review my day to see how many times I switched from the temptation to feel guilt to instead laughing at the ego and loving myself. If I made the switch even once, I award myself another imaginary golden trophy.

Before falling asleep I count the blessings in my trophy room of lessons learned, full of bright shiny gold reflection. I rejoice that I AM that bright golden light!

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Nothing Compares To The Holy Relationship

2011-04-22T14:30:00.000-06:00

"We were very different people. She was seven years older than I, we came from different racial backgrounds, had very different pasts and held different goals for our lives. Despite these differences, I literally experienced her as my Self. What shocked me most was the Self reflected in her was not the self I was used to identifying with. Until this experience, I understood the idea of seeing myself in another to mean looking for some commonality in our egos and focusing on that instead of our differences. This experience taught me that our bodies, our egos, this world can’t even touch Heaven.

"It was a shift in perception so profound that it threw me for years. In the holy relationship, the other does not complete you, but rather is your Wholeness. You are not half of a whole with another, you are both exactly the same. You are One and you are aware of it.

"The holy relationship is the most important experience the Course uses to teach you your True Identity. The words I have used to describe it to you fall short of the experience. There is nothing to compare it to in this world. Yet it is the goal of all relationships." --Liz Cronkhite

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Is Lesson 20 Life's Most Important Lesson?

2011-03-27T09:30:00.001-06:00

"My open heart heals relationships!"

Show me someone who holds onto a relationship fear and I'll show you someone who will create a relationship problem. This course teaches me that fear is the root of all relationship problems. But fear can be eliminated. Spiritual teachers have forever said perfect love casts out all fear.

So.... If I open up my heart way, way out to the far reaches of the universe ... and if my heart stays open....

That's right. It is possible to have a problem-free relationship and it is possible to heal any relationship.

The question is: how do I get my heart wide, wide, wide, wide open?

Do I do it with intellectual study?

Boy, if that were possible intellectuals would be the ones to learn from. But how long has it been since I've seen a truly, supremely happy intellectual? Never?

When it comes to heart opening, I might learn better from little children, true or false?

Anyway, it turns out that heart opening is possible but heart opening requires giving up intellectually derived conclusions. It requires, as Jesus once said, becoming as a little child. It requires being at peace, being happy, and giving of oneself. It requires wanting to be in love every moment.

Wanting to be in love every moment? Wait a minute! What about all those situations when I don't want to be in love?

That's the problem. The ego does not want me to love. It wants me to fear. It wants me to be angry. It wants me to judge. It wants me to feel guilt. It wants a hundred and one other things, but heaven forbid that I love all the time.

Sorry, heaven won't forbid constant love. Heaven nudges me toward constant love. It is the ego that wants to forbid love, isn't it?

So this course teaches heart opening, and the most important factor in heart opening is the intense desire to be in love all the time, without ever a lapse into anything other than love.

How is this accomplished? By constantly being in-touch with my inner desire for love and by constant vigilance against non-love. Nothing I can't train myself to accomplish.

This week each day as I awaken I want to reaffirm my training goal. I state to myself many times over, until it begins to feel very true for me, a statement of intent such as:

"Nothing today can have me closing my heart. Today my heart opens more than ever before."

Then throughout the day whenever my mind is not occupied with other matters I look around me at anything and everything and say in my mind the statement:

"My heart is open to you. I love you _________."

There might be a temptation to responded to this exercise by replying, "I might be able to say 'I love you' to trees. But to rocks and telephone poles and jerks? I don't think I can do it."

That's the problem with thinking. The truth is I can do it and I will learn to do it. I just have to get past my ego's resistance to loving.

The idea with this exercise is to keep this statement in my mind all the time ready to come to the forefront ... like a screen saver on a computer, when I'm not focusing on other things my "screen saver" statement comes right back to mind:

"My heart is open to you. I love you _________."

With this exercise I want to say I love you to trees, rocks, telephone poles, even jerks ... it doesn't matter. I say it to everything and everybody. If my ego tells me this or that object is not worthy of love, I say "Get thee behind me, ego!" and go on loving. The ego could argue all day that something or somebody is not worthy of love, but the point is I am worthy of having my heart open. If I find I'm not satisfied with loving after one week, I can always go back to withholding love.

Finally, at the end of each day this week I want to spend some time dwelling on the fact that my love casts fear out of my relationships and brings healing. I also want to remember how my love heals not only my relationship, but all relationships because we are all in this together. Any healing heals all.

With this in mind my sleep will be happy and just before falling to sleep I might say to myself a few times something like:

"I've opened my heart to heal ALL relationships!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

List of Lessons

2011-03-02T08:59:00.004-07:00

Lesson 1: "I deserve a relationship which seems like heaven on earth."
Lesson 2: "I am fully capable of creating a perfect relationship."
Lesson 3: "First happiness, then a relationship."
Lesson 4: "My commitment to my own happiness brings me the relationship I want."
Lesson 5: "It does NOT take two to tango!"
Lesson 6: "I TOTALLY commit to creating a perfect relationship!"
Lesson 7: "Nothing brings better relationships than my own spiritual opening!"
Lesson 8: "I surround myself with natural heart and soul opening partners!"
Lesson 9: "For me, there are not a lot of fish in the sea!"
Lesson 10: "I am lifting up the entire earth!"
Lesson 11: "My perfect relationship serves a higher purpose!"
Lesson 12: "There is nothing I need do but wait...and see what happens!"
Lesson 13: "Signs and signals are everywhere!"
Lesson 14: "Whatever I REALLY need is what I have!"
Lesson 15: "By giving of my heart and soul I sustain oneness!"
Lesson 16: "My joy brings me what I really want!"
Lesson 17: "Self-honesty brings me what I really, really want!"
Lesson 18: "I look away from my ego and toward my spirit for guidance!"
Lesson 19: "My good comes from one source only,I am staying in-touch with source!"
Lesson 20: "My open heart heals relationships!"
Lesson 21: "Free of guilt, my relationship thrives!"
Lesson 22: "Replacing worry with trust gives me the relationship I want!"
Lesson 23: "I burn up anger before it burns up my relationship!"
Lesson 24: "Free of fear, my relationship glows!"
Lesson 25: "I agree quickly and my relationship is healed!"
Lesson 26: "By helping others to joyous relationships my own blossoms!"
Lesson 27: "I imagine the world taking a quantum leap into happier relationships!"
Lesson 28: "My spirituality enhances all my relationships!"
Lesson 29: "Meditation nourishes my relationships!"
Lesson 30: "With careful listening I heal my relationship!"
Lesson 31: "I have no need to be right, so relationships are easy and fun!"
Lesson 32: "My inner peace heals all relationships!"
Lesson 33: "Everything is just exactly as it should be!"
Lesson 34: "I fill my life with heart and soul opening partners!"
Lesson 35: "I expect miracles and they happen all around me!"
Lesson 36: "I practice feeling the spirit of others!"
Lesson 37: "Relationships are not what they seem to be!"
Lesson 38: "I do not jump eagerly into solving new relationship problems!"
Lesson 39: "It's okay with me if my relationship does not last forever!"
Lesson 40: "The only tightrope I walk is the peace line!"
Lesson 41: "I do not ignore eternal relationship truths!"
Lesson 42: "I stay grounded and my relationships stay high!"
Lesson 43: "I see my relationship partner now ... with no past!"
Lesson 44: "My relationships are clean of harmful fantasies!"
Lesson 45: "There is nothing which cannot be forgiven!"
Lesson 46: "Nothing can upset me if I am seeing clearly!"
Lesson 47: "My superb health keeps my relationships vital!"
Lesson 48: "My relationship is served by enlightened self-interest!"
Lesson 49: "My relationships are out of this world when I am serving others!"
Lesson 50: "My relationships are enhanced by spiritual teachers and books!"
Lesson 51: "Deep and careful inner hearing solves every problem!"
Lesson 52: "The end is in sight!"

If you really want relationships without pain, fear, or guilt ... besides this course, read both these books:

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Heroic Relationships

2011-01-30T11:35:00.001-07:00

What is a heroic relationship? Wouldn't it be a relationship in which both parties felt the deepest love and respect for each other, as opposed to a more surface level relationship where your purpose is to "get along?"

Do not think it takes both parties to create a heroic relationship. Read lesson 5 of this course: "It does NOT take two to tango!"

Your goal now and always should be to experience the fullness of life; not merely a reasonably happy life, but a constant joyous and fully alive experience. But the fullness of life in relationships means turning all your relationships into heroic relationships.

To really achieve heroic relationships, in addition to using this course offered here online free ... also read both these books:

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Relationships Without Pain, Fear, Or Guilt

2011-01-01T14:41:00.001-07:00

In her world-shaking novel, Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand hinted at the possibility of relationships without pain, fear, or guilt. Rand never personally achieved such a relationship, but she was on the right track in imagining such a possibility. Much can be learned about relationships from reading Atlas Shrugged, which measured in regard to influence on truth seekers is second only to the Holy Bible.

In his revelation for the 21st Century, A Course in Miracles, Jesus Christ affirms that indeed relationships without pain, fear, or guilt are not only possible, but easily attainable when we totally let go of ego-vested interests. Probably no better companion to the Holy Bible, or to Atlas Shrugged, is A Course in Miracles.

If you really want relationships without pain, fear, or guilt ... read both these books:

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Ideal Christmas Gift: Holy Relationships

2010-12-01T09:18:00.000-07:00

Relationships can reflect hell. Relationships can reflect heaven. The choice between hell and heaven in your relationships is yours. The reason some folks choose hell in relationships is self-induced blindness. They simply choose to see what they want to see rather than allowing themselves to see what is really there.

Christmas and New Year season is an ideal time to see things differently. If you happen to be saying to yourself, "I really want more heaven and less hell in my relationships," you are probably feeling guidance to pursue the lessons of this course. To gain a glimpse of the difference in ways of seeing things, read the article: Your Greatest Christmas Gift: Holy Relationships

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Allowing Your Relationships To Be Holy

2010-11-03T17:42:00.000-06:00

The Holy Instant and Special Relationships

The holy instant is the Holy Spirit's most useful learning device for teaching you love's meaning. For its purpose is to SUSPEND JUDGMENT ENTIRELY. Judgment ALWAYS rests on the past, for PAST experience is the basis on which you judge. Judgment becomes impossible without the past, for WITHOUT it you do NOT understand anything. You would make no ATTEMPT to judge, because it would be quite apparent to you that you do not know WHAT ANYTHING MEANS. You are afraid of this, because you believe that, WITHOUT THE EGO, all would be chaos. Yet I assure you that, without the ego, ALL WOULD BE LOVE.

Everyone on earth has formed special relationships, and, although this is not so in Heaven, the Holy Spirit knows how to bring a touch of Heaven to them here. In the holy instant, no one is special, for your PERSONAL needs INTRUDE on no one, to MAKE them different. Without the values from the past you WOULD see them all the same, and LIKE YOURSELF. Nor would you see ANY separation between yourself and them. In the holy instant, you see, in each relationship, what it WILL be, when you perceive ONLY the present.

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

What If I Could Be Free Of Relationship Pain, Fear, And Guilt?

2010-10-13T09:40:00.001-06:00

"You are only ever upset because you are justifying the thoughts in your head. But reality is never frightening. So I must be upset because I see something that is not even there."

Maybe the above video invites you to hesitate. "Wait a minute! Is my own thinking the cause of my pain and grief? Maybe I need a course in miracles."

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Ending Relationship Insanity

2010-09-16T17:47:00.002-06:00

Maybe you expect something out of your relationships. And maybe your expectations are never met. “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.” What if all relationship pain and difficulty comes from expecting something that is not possible? Have fun absorbing the above video.

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Your Life Is A Course In Miracles

2010-08-24T09:03:00.004-06:00

Enjoy the above video. If you "get it" your whole life will change.

Ultimately the answer to all relationship problems lies in the miracle. All life, which means every relationship, is a course in miracles. Why would you want to spend one minute more in pain, fear, or guilt when total joy in all relationships is available?

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Introduction to the Course

2009-12-09T16:41:00.002-07:00

Most relationships would benefit from miracles.

The potential for miracles in any kind of relationship are endless.

The miracles you master by practicing the lessons of this course can be easily applied to any relationship and all kinds of relationships. But because the romantic love relationship is so intense, with possibilities for near-heaven and near-hell experiences far greater than other kinds of relationships, this course uses as a teaching device the context of the romantic love relationship.

In truth, every principle of relationship that is seen so clearly in romantic love can be found in other relationships with a little well-developed "seeing," so when the course focuses on romantic love keep in mind that all relationships are the same in dynamics, but not in the intensity with which the dynamics are working.

Therefore, when the course uses terms like "partnership" or "dear one", do not hesitate to think of these terms as applying to anyone in any relationship. Much can be learned, for example, by applying the terms "partner" or "dear one" to one you might have thought of as an enemy.

Romantic love is one of the most spiritually opening experiences one can have in life on earth. It is an experience that is dreamed of and sought after and sung about more than any other experience on earth precisely because it "seems like heaven" when you are experiencing it. Certainly if any feeling on earth could be a close approximation to the experience of heaven, it would be romantic love.

Just as romantic love is like opening to heaven, the complications which arise in romantic love can be like opening to hell ... unless miracles enter the picture. Thus the need for a course such as this one.

What exactly happens in romantic love? Why is the feeling sometimes short-lived? What causes romance to wear thin? How can partnerships be sustained in highly romantic happiness without a lot of work? Not only are these and related questions answered in this course, but the course offers the mind-training necessary to make the romance last.

The Course in Relationship Miracles teaches you how to maintain romantic openness and extreme happiness throughout your entire relationship. To most people, this would seem like a miracle ... thus the name of the course. But the "miracle" is not scientifically unexplainable. It is merely a matter of newly revealed technology.

So the Course in Relationship Miracles is written for the romantic who wants to make the romance last, but also for anyone who wants to make any relationship a good or better experience.

The Course in Relationship Miracles is interested in helping you blast through the limitations of old-style relationships, allowing you to operate on a level which could almost be called "miraculous," as you follow your unique spirit-directed path to happiness in relationships. To this end, we offer what might be the most life-changing course you will ever take.

YOUR PRACTICE OF THE LESSONS OF THE COURSE:

There is no charge for the Course in Relationship Miracles ... except the price you set for yourself in dedication and commitment. The Course, like life itself, gives back what you put into it. Pay a high price in dedication and commitment, and the rewards will prove to be far beyond what you could have imagined beforehand.

The Course may be practiced in two ways:

Those who benefit from schedules and scheduling can concentrate on one lesson a week. The Course's 52 lessons make it a perfect one year course. Those who survive a year in the Course in this manner will feel a strong desire to re-take it a second year and a third.

Those who feel the need to not move on until they have really grasped a given lesson in all its depth and breadth can stay on the same lesson week after week until it is fully learned and integrated deeply inside oneself, then move on to the next lesson. This is perhaps the best way to learn the lessons.

To gain the most benefit from the course, do not read ahead in the lessons. Stay with the lesson you are on until the one week or longer you have alloted yourself for the lesson has passed.

Under no circumstances should anyone ever spend less than an entire week on a lesson. Many will be tempted to say to themselves, "Oh, I already know this lesson," and move on to the next lesson too quickly. Do not submit to such temptation. If you really knew the lesson in all its fullness, and had the lesson integrated deep inside yourself, then you would already be living "in heaven" in all your relationships and have no need for a Course in Miraculous Relationships.

One week is not enough time to integrate a lesson thoroughly, but it is the minimum amount of time to get a good start on a lesson which when thoroughly learned will improve your life a billion-fold.

Happy Learning! (Links to lessons on side of this page.)

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 1

2008-06-05T20:39:00.004-06:00

"I deserve a relationship which seems like heaven on earth."

There is no reason for me to invite typical reduced levels of happiness and fulfillment by settling for a relationship containing seeds of stress, strain, or incompatibility. I understand that most people believe this is the norm for relationships and resign themselves to "making it work" by which they really mean "minimizing the feeling of something missing". I deserve better.

I also understand that most people begin relationships "in fantasy land", so to speak, believing that their relationship is not going to be like others. I deserve better than the "blindness" of fantasy also.

What I deserve is a relationship "made in heaven" and easily sustainable in heavenly feelings without a great deal of hard work. Relationships can be heavenly ... and that's what I deserve. I will not settle for less.

People who are stuck in overburdening relationships are sometimes overheard saying things like, "I don't deserve this!", or "I don't deserve to be treated this way!" In truth, they do not deserve it. What is true is true on the deepest level. But somewhere inside themselves on some less deep yet subconscious ego level they must believe they do deserve it or they wouldn't have found themselves in the situation. I will not allow such subconscious confusion inside myself. I am worthy of better.

So I hereby commit myself to doing the work inside myself first that will lead to a relationship of peace, joy, happiness... and love so overwhelming that it goes beyond what words could possibly describe. I deserve it.

My goal this week is to put myself in-touch with how much I really do deserve. I will accomplish this by using exercises designed to take me deep inside my subconscious mind, clear out contradictory thoughts regarding my worthiness, and perhaps begin to feel a high degree of worthiness I have never before felt.

First of all, each day this week upon awakening I prepare my mind by affirming aloud to myself this week's lesson statement:

"I deserve a relationship which seems like heaven on earth"

If I say this once or twice and it doesn't feel true to me, I continue saying it and I say it as many times as it takes to begin feeling the truth of it. Having at least begun to feel the truth of what is true, I can then go about my day with appropriate feelings.

During each waking hour of each day this week, I take a quick five minutes to get back in-touch with my worthiness. I accomplish this simply by asking, but asking with all my heart and soul, to feel how worthy I really am:

"Worthiness? Are you there? I want to feel you!

I want to feel how really, really, really worthy I am!

I want to feel what it feels like to know that I deserve a relationship which seems like heaven on earth!"

Having asked with deep sincerity, I wait quietly for the feeling to rise. I do not have to worry about feeling overwhelmed. Whatever feelings of worthiness arise, I will be able to handle. But the idea is to keep asking with all my heart and soul until I at least begin to feel real worthiness.

Then before retiring each day this week, I take some time to feel that the true desires of my heart and soul really are coming true. I say the following affirmation aloud to myself until I begin to feel the truth of it before retiring:

"Not only do I deserve a relationship which seems like heaven on earth ... but it IS coming true!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 2

2008-06-04T21:27:00.005-06:00

"I am fully capable of creating a perfect relationship."

Last week I learned that I am worthy of more happiness in relationship than the earth has yet seen. But what if somewhere in my subconscious mind I were to harbor a secret thought that for one or more reasons I am not capable of creating such a relationship?

Maybe I've told myself not consciously, but subconsciously, that I have insurmountable learning blocks when it comes to relationships. Maybe I've decided on a subtle level in my mind that relationships require two commitments and I can't do all the work myself. Maybe I've thought there is not enough technology on earth yet to create really good relationships.

None of these ideas are true.

There is nothing about relationships I cannot easily learn. Any blocks I have to learning can be removed quickly and painlessly.

If I prepare myself for the kind of relationship I deserve, that's the kind of relationship I will have, because contrary to popular belief it only takes one to get the job done.

Unbelievably happy relationships are now believable. The technology is on earth now. That's what this course is all about.

This course promises what I've always really wanted in relationship. It's up to me to have some willingness to do what this course asks of me.

This week I want to get in-touch with the truth that I am capable of learning the technology of "heavenly" relationships.

This week each day as I awaken I affirm my capability aloud to myself a number of times over until I begin to feel the truth of it. To this purpose, I use this week's lesson statement or any other statement that springs to mind with similar meaning. Example statements might be:

"I will not belittle my learning capability! Whatever needs to be learned about relationships ... I can learn it!"

"My past has no effect on my ability to learn! Starting fresh right now, I can learn to create perfect relationships!"

"Nothing can stand in the way of my learning because the technology of perfect relationships is very simple indeed!"

During the day each hour I take five minutes for quiet meditation and during these meditation periods I ask to feel feelings of capability. I might ask myself a question like:

"What does it FEEL like to know I am fully capable of creating a perfect relationship? I want the feeling!"

The idea is to become familiar with the feeling of full capability and as much as possible throughout each day hold onto that feeling. I could even ask myself a hundred and one times during the day:

"What does my full capability feel like?"

Experiencing and holding onto the feeling of full capability literally "burns up" any learning blocks that might be lurking in my subconscious energy and assures that if thoughts of lack of capability come to mind they will not be able to put down roots in my belief system.

Each day when retiring, I again ask to feel the feeling of full capability and I do not let myself fall asleep before saying to myself again a few times with great joy and gratitude a statement of the week's lesson:

"I am fully capable of creating a perfectly heavenly relationship."

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 3

2008-06-03T08:59:00.006-06:00

"First happiness, then a relationship."

Strange as it may seem, the only way to have total happiness in a relationship is to have total happiness without a relationship.

As soon as I think I have to have a relationship to be happy, my happiness is already sabotaged. This can be illustrated by the story of the three little sisters.

Once upon a time there were three little sisters.

The first sister was happy all the time, no matter what. She simply chose to be happy. Happiness was the easiest thing in the world to choose because all the happiness in the universe was right inside of her and she understood that feeling her natural happiness was just a matter of not closing herself down. She never did have a relationship, but she didn't particularly care. She was blissfully happy regardless.

The second sister must have forgotten she was naturally happy inside. She kept thinking she needed to be in a relationship to be happy. When she didn't have a relationship she closed her natural happiness down by telling herself she couldn't be happy unless she was in a relationship. When she did have a relationship, she was limited in her happiness by the fear that the relationship might end. Thus she could never experience total happiness.

The third sister, like the first sister, didn't care if she was in a relationship or not. She was happy not being in a relationship and she was happy in a relationship. When in a relationship, she did not fear the relationship ending, so she never closed down her happiness.

If I really learn my natural state is happiness and I really learn I do not need anything or anyone or any situation outside myself in order to experience my happiness, then my possibilities for happiness in a relationship are endless.

But if I think I need someone or some circumstance outside myself in order to have happiness, then I will always fear losing what I think I need ... and fear is the opposite of happiness.

So my goal with this week's lesson is to teach myself that happiness is always right inside myself and I can turn to my happiness and experience my happiness at any time.

To further this goal I will wake up each day this week and choose happiness. I will look inside myself and ask myself:

"Happiness? Are you there? Are you there, happiness?"

I will ask this over and over again if necessary until I feel happiness. Happiness will show itself as a feeling if I ask long enough with sincerity and deep desire.

Once I've felt happiness, I will say aloud to myself for perhaps five minutes statements which affirm my desire to really learn this week's lesson on a deep feeling level. I might use statements such as:

"I deserve happiness, so today I'm choosing to feel happiness ... and that's that!"

"I'm capable of happiness, so today I'm choosing to feel happiness ... regardless of what's going on outside myself!"

"Only my happiness makes me happy, so that's what I choose!"

"Nothing outside myself can increase the happiness already inside ... so I'm happy."

It doesn't matter what statements I use. My own inner voice might give me statements that work deeper inside myself than these examples. The idea is to say the affirmation a few times until I feel the truth of it. If pictures come to mind of myself going through the day choosing my inner happiness, so much the better.

During the day this week I again take a short little meditation break each hour and say to myself aloud some re-statement of this week's lesson such as:

"My relationships could be joyous, but my joy does not require a relationship."

"My relationships might be fulfilling, but my fulfillment does not require a relationship."

"After taking this course my relationships are going to be so much fun! But having fun in life does not require a relationship!"

The idea is to remind myself as often as possible that a relationship is not what makes me happy, even though a relationship could at times be a trigger for me to open to the natural happiness that is always inside myself.

Before retiring each day this week, I spend a short time really feeling gratitude that I don't need a relationship to be happy and feeling an even higher and deeper gratitude that I can turn my attention inside at any time and feel the innate happiness which, although I might have buried it at times, has never left me.

I might even say to myself with the deepest satisfaction a few times before falling to sleep:

"If I thought I NEEDED a relationship ... I'd be in trouble! But joy upon joy ... I'm already happy!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 4

2008-06-02T14:04:00.005-06:00

"My commitment to my own happiness
brings me the relationship I want."

In the old flat-earth relationship technology it was thought that commitment to a relationship brought success in the relationship. Since that idea has not proven true, I have to be flexible enough to think that maybe the earth is round ... maybe the old thinking is 180 degrees off-target.

Lo and behold, it turns out that it is my commitment to my own happiness, to my own fulfillment, which brings me the relationship I want.

Although it might be hard to believe at first because our culture has been so brainwashed to think the old way, it turns out that committing to the relationship does nothing but sell me down the turbulent river of painful co-dependency.

In Ayn Rand's novel Atlas Shrugged, this week's principle is illustrated better than anywhere else. The relationship between Hank Reardon and his wife Lillian in the novel is a relationship in which both are fully, intensely ... and sickly ... committed to the relationship instead of their own inner happiness. The relationship between Dagney Taggart and her ultimate romantic partner is a totally different story as each lives first and foremost for the sake of their own happiness, raising their relationship to a level of incredible joy.

In Atlas Shrugged, Dagney Taggart always remained first and foremost true to her own happiness. Her first romantic relationship was total joy in all respects because her partner understood, as she did, that they must live for their own happiness above all else. In her second romantic relationship her partner was not so clear, but she herself stayed joyously above his occasional temptations to bring the relationship down. Her third romantic relationship went far beyond joy to the deepest fulfillment.

As an "outside reading assignment" for this course in heavenly relationships, I assign myself the pleasure of obtaining a copy of Atlas Shrugged and reading it with extra attention given to the dynamics at work in the relationships portrayed.

The main principle of this week's lesson, illustrated masterfully in Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged and some of her other works is this:

The relationship experiences in one's life are perfect reflections of one's sense of life.

This is another way of saying that if I prepare myself and focus my attention on what is really important, a relationship better than I could have dreamed of will form right in front of my eyes.

So I will begin each day this week, reminding myself of this week's lesson, by saying aloud to myself the lesson statement of the week several times over:

"My commitment to my own happiness brings me the relationship I want."

Then I take the next step by committing to my happiness. I say to myself a few times:

"Above all else today I will stay in-touch with my happiness."

I also take a few minutes to visualize situations which might possibly come up during the day which would tempt me to lose touch with my innate inner happiness. I see myself not yielding to such temptation.

In particular, with each such situation that comes to mind, I see myself noticing when I'm losing touch with my happiness ... stopping such nonsense ... turning around and looking back inside to where my happiness dwells... and happily greeting my happiness as it once again rises to the surface.

This exercise is especially effective in relationship contexts, so during the day every time a relationship situation arises in which I am tempted to lose sight of my happiness, I stop ... turn within to where my happiness dwells ... and greet my happiness with a little laugh as it again rises to the surface.

At the end of each day I review my progress for the day. If I remember incidents during the day when I forgot to turn to my happiness, I laugh because I know I am making progress anyway. If I remember incidents when I did remember to turn to my happiness, I smile because each such incident is worth more to me than a million dollars.

As I settle down ready for sleep I rejoice about the progress I really am making. Even minimum progress with this course is a billion times better than the struggle of the old-fashioned relationship technology.

Before falling asleep I say to myself one more time for the day:

"I am so grateful that my commitment to my own happiness is what brings me the relationship I want."

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 5

2008-06-01T12:17:00.006-06:00

"It does NOT take two to tango!"

Contrary to popular belief, all the work that needs to be done to bring about a perfect relationship can be done within myself.

Why is this so?

Because my mind and my belief systems literally create what I experience in life. Once I change my mind, or change my way of seeing things, or change my way of experiencing things ... I literally re-create my world in a different form altogether.

I have watched people change almost overnight as a result of my thinking of them in a different way or seeing them in a different light. I have also watched people change as a result of my intense desire to see them change, as if my intense desire were like a prayer. Some would say that any intense desire is a "prayer" whether formulated into words or not.

If people change as a result of my conscious desire to see them change, what can be said about my subconscious desires? If my subconscious desires are 99 times more powerful than my conscious desires, how much differently would I be treated by people if I were to change my subconscious desires? How much different would be the relationships I draw into my life if I were to show forth the clear and glowing being I am capable of showing forth inside myself?

An ancient teaching states that thoughts held in mind produce in the world after their kind. Jesus might rephrase it this way: "Judge not, because by judging you are condemning yourself." Even someone in resistance to Jesus, if honest, will admit the world shows one a reflection of the thoughts one holds in mind.

Now that I have started this course, I will more and more see that no one but myself is responsible for who I meet, for how people react to me, and for how anyone in relationship with me treats me.

But what if the ancient teaching didn't go far enough? What if it is not only thoughts held in my mind that create my experiences in the world, but also my unwillingness to clean out of my aura non-life serving energies which have been soaked up from the thoughts or emotions of others?

What if I could keep my energies really clean and bright inside, like a glowing angel? Would I attract clean, bright and glowing people into my life to reflect my inner state back to me? Would those with whom I am in relationship automatically start changing by virtue of experiencing my bright energy?

This week I want to practice reminding myself that if I change my mind, if I change my way of seeing things, if I change my energies, then everything I have ever dreamed of and more will come to me in a relationship. I want to remind myself that nothing is required from the other person at all. It is all me.

To this end as I awaken each day I prepare myself for the day by saying aloud to myself a few times until I begin to feel as truth some such statement as:

"To have a heavenly relationship, nobody else but me has to make any changes."

"When I alone begin to see things differently ... everyone changes!"

"When I weed out relationship-defeating thoughts and attitudes from MY OWN mind, the heavenly relationship becomes inevitable!"

"I take FULL responsibility for the quality of relationship in my life!"

Each hour during the day I set aside a 5 or 10 minute meditation period to use for the purpose of retraining my mind with respect to this week's lesson... It does not take two ... it takes only one.

During my hourly meditations I focus on the above statements or other statements having similar meaning which might come to mind. I attempt to get in-touch with the feeling that comes with knowing that I alone can create the most wonderful heavenly relationship. I might even ask aloud a few times:

"Feelings of total sovereignty? Are you there?"

Then each day before retiring for the day I visualize myself dancing with a perfect partner, but the perfect partner turns out to be me alone. Before falling asleep I laugh with joy, knowing it's all in my hands ... or my feet.

"I rejoice that it takes only one to tango!"

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Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 6

2008-05-31T14:30:00.003-06:00

"I TOTALLY commit to creating a perfect relationship!"

How many times have I heard individuals verbally whip their partner for not committing in the relationship? "Your problem is you can't commit!" Whip crack! "It's your fault because you won't commit!" Whip crack! "If I can't get a commitment from you I'll leave you!" Whip crack!

But I am learning in this course that the only commitment I need is my own. Life gives me back what I put into it, not what some other person puts into it. If I am committed to creating a perfect relationship, it will happen.

In fact, that's what "will" is. When I will something into existence I am totally committed to it being in existence and my total commitment brings it about. If my commitment is wishy-washy, my will is half focused-half unfocused. When my will is less than fully focused, what I want does not come about.

So this week I want to commit, commit, commit, commit, commit (until my commitment is total) to creating a perfect relationship.

Do I need to have a special person already in my life in order to make a total commitment? It doesn't matter one way or the other. It's only me who needs to commit and finding total commitment inside myself is no harder or easier with someone already in my life or not.

As I awaken each day this week, I will prepare myself for a great day of progress by saying aloud to myself many times over, until I feel the truth of it at a deeper level than I feel the truth of most of the thoughts I hold in mind, the statement of this week's lesson:

"I TOTALLY commit to creating a perfect relationship!"

During the day, each hour I set aside 5 minutes for meditation and use this meditation time to ask myself questions like:

"Total commitment? Are you there inside me?"

"Total commitment? I know you are there! What do you feel like?"

The idea is to quiet my mind and body ... and ask for a deep feeling to arise. The feeling of total commitment is inside me and it will rise to the surface to be felt if I ask sincerely and strongly.

Once I feel the feeling as fully as possible, I can then hold the feeling for as long as possible during the next hour. I'll then remind myself again during another meditation period. The idea is to acquaint myself with the feeling of the fullest commitment I can feel and hold onto the feeling most of the day.

Then at the end of each day, it will be easy to access the feeling of total commitment, the feeling likely being stronger each successive day. Before retiring for the day I say to myself a few times, really feeling the truth of it:

"This total commitment of mine I place in the service of creating a perfect relationship."

As I am about to fall asleep for the day, knowing my dreams will work toward my goal, I ask my mind to give me a vision of a perfect relationship or a feeling of what a heavenly relationship would feel like. I visualize myself in a relationship such as this earth has never yet known, a relationship of such intense joy and happiness and fulfillment that entirely new kinds of romantic stories will have to be written someday.

I say to myself before sleeping:

"Nothing can stop me from creating a relationship of so much love and joy ... the world has never before seen the likes of it!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 7

2008-05-30T14:51:00.008-06:00

"Nothing brings better relationships than my own spiritual opening!"

These lessons have been making it clear to me that my own thoughts, my own feelings, and my own energies are what determine the kinds of relationships I find myself in and the level of heavenly feelings I experience in relationship.

It is becoming increasingly clear with these lessons that all of heaven is inside me and I need only open to what is inside me to participate in unbelievably glorious experiences ... not only in relationships, but in all areas of life.

Why not then go all the way to the root of all matters by committing to my spiritual opening above all else?

That's precisely what I will do with this week's lesson.

Spiritual opening does not involve religion. In fact, religion often stifles spiritual opening to the degree that religionists focus on rules and dogma to the exclusion of the experience of one's spiritual nature. Rules and dogma do not open me up spiritually, they close me down.

So this week, I go farther than religion. This week I commit to unbelievable spiritual opening, religion or not.

If not religion, what then is 100% spiritual opening?

Some clues have come from this relationship course. It is an opening to more joy than I could have ever imagined possible, a joy much too rarely seen on earth. It is an opening to love so big that it feels nearly overwhelming, raising me literally to "dizzying heights". It is an opening to infectious happiness which touches everyone, and heals everyone it touches.

The experience of sustained spiritual enlightenment is not easy to put into words, for earth beings do not usually have a vocabulary in their languages to cover such feelings. But I am not going to deny myself any part of the experience just to stay within the limitations of earthly vocabularies. I'm aiming for the fullness of the experience.

Does this commitment to spiritual enlightenment imply that I cannot have heavenly experiences in relationship unless I am first totally enlightened spiritually? Not at all. It merely places first things first.

Remember, heaven in relationship rises out of heaven in internal experience. If my focus is on the experience of heaven, all else will fall into place.

In fact, that would be a good slogan for this week's practice.

Each day this week as I awaken, the first thing I will tell myself is:

"If my focus is on the experience of heaven, all else will fall into place."

As with previous lesson statements, I will say this to myself aloud a few times until I begin to feel the truth of it. I might even use variations of this truth which come to mind, particularly the relationship-oriented variation which is the statement of this week's lesson:

"Nothing brings better relationships than my own spiritual opening. I commit first and foremost to my spiritual opening."

Then during the day this week I set aside some time for a full 20 minute meditation period in addition to any five minute hourly reminder periods I choose to have.

During my 20 minute meditation I do nothing but focus on my spiritual nature. I do not think about my spiritual nature, but rather attempt to feel it. I ask with deep sincerity:

"Spiritual nature? Are you there? I want to feel you fully! Help me feel you!"

After asking this a few times, I simply wait quietly for my spiritual nature to make itself known to me. It will be felt.

The form in which I feel my spirit makes no difference. People all feel their spiritual nature a little differently at first. I understand that later there might be some common experiences to watch for. But in the beginning, what I feel will be only my own personal experience ... and I will be happy with it.

So now I choose to meditate 20 minutes each day with no other goal than to feel my spiritual nature during this meditation period. Will this meditation alone bring a wonderful relationship into my life? Oh, yes! But at this point, I can't even begin to imagine how good it will be.

Finally, as I retire each day this week, I again quiet my mind and attempt to feel my spirit. If it feels like my being is expanding, or lifting higher, or being filled, or being lit up ... so much the better. But whatever the feeling, I let myself ride a tide of happy gratitude.

I say to myself a few times before sleep:

"This is who I REALLY am! I am spirit! I am love! I am joy! I am peace! I am happiness! And my relationships are all miracles!"

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Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 8

2008-05-29T14:18:00.007-06:00

"I surround myself with natural heart and soul opening partners!"

Now that I have committed to my spiritual opening above all else, everything falls into place naturally. Since my whole world re-arranges itself to serve my greatest goal, each relationship in my life will now serve the purpose of opening me spiritually. Now I'm flying!

Now I can peek back towards earth and say, "Okay, in earthly terms, what factors do I look for in a relationship such that the relationship will serve to open me up more fully than I've ever been opened?"

At this point I learn about heart and soul opening partners.

I am slowly learning that outer circumstances are a reflection of inner states. But perhaps I do not yet understand how completely true this is. Ancient wisdom declares, "As within, so without." What if this is thoroughly true?

What if even the sun and moon in outer space are like unto a sun and moon in inner space inside myself? A crazy idea? Maybe not. Maybe there is more to what is really going on than meets the eye?

At any rate, ancient wise men and women devised a way to talk about inner space in terms of outer space. This ancient wisdom has been thoroughly lost until recently when one or two very important principles known by ancients and having to do with relationships have once again been revealed.

In particular, when my heart is fully open it radiates spiritual light brighter than the brightest sun, and when my soul is cleansed and purified it becomes as powerful in its effects as the fullest of full moons.

Furthermore, a relationship with a heart and soul opening partner is the greatest possible relationship for potential spiritual opening. If other factors do not cast a shadow on the interaction, the natural energies of a heart and soul opening partner literally "take me to heaven".

If I want to be opened fully spiritually and I want the most heavenly experience possible in a relationship, then I should wish for and watch for a heart and soul opening partner in my life.

It goes without saying that a highly enlightened spiritual teacher can open my heart, my soul, and everything else that needs opening spiritually. I could do no better than to be very close to such a teacher and dwell within the influence of such a teacher's energy.

But what if I am still very interested in earthly relationships, friendships, maybe even romance? How can I find out if someone's natural energies open my heart and soul? I can pay attention to my heart and my solar plexus area when I am around this person.

Do I find myself opening to so much love without even trying to love, my heart feels so comfortable it's almost as if my heart and the other person's heart is the same heart? I've probably found a heart-opening partner.

Do I notice that my solar plexus really feels comfortable with this person as if deep down on a soul level we are one, or have something in common? Maybe I've found a soul-opening partner.

And since I've prayed for spiritual opening, it will not be long before I draw into my life someone whose energies are for me both heart and soul opening.

In the meantime, this week I thank my lucky stars that heart and soul opening partners exist for me. When I awaken each day this week, I use as an affirmation a statement of this week's lesson:

"I draw natural heart and soul opening partners into my life and surround myself with heart and soul opening partners."

As I say this to myself a few times, I visualize people being drawn into my life whose natural energies really open up my heart and soul. I even feel my heart and soul (solar plexus center) opening wide as I practice the lesson.

During the day each day I pay attention to the aura of the people I meet. How do their energies make me feel ... open or closed?

Each hour I say a few times the statement of this week's lesson:

"I draw natural heart and soul opening partners into my life and surround myself with heart and soul opening partners."

If someone's energy especially seems to light me up for no apparent reason that I can judge, I allow myself to extend to that someone great love and respect. Chances are we are both going to feel open and happy hanging out together.

Before retiring each day this week, I rejoice because my heart and soul are opening and because people are being drawn into my life who help me with this process merely by virtue of their natural energies.

I ask myself a few times:

"What does it feel like to have my HEART fully open?"

Then I hold my mind and my being very still and see if I can feel a fully heart opened feeling.

Next I ask a few times:

"What does it feel like to have my SOUL fully open?"

Again, I quiet my mind and my whole being ... and allow the feeling.

Before falling asleep, I try to hold my heart and soul open as much as I can, feeling as much joy and fulfillment as I will allow myself to feel. I might even say to myself:

"This heart and soul opening is fun! Thank you angels!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 9

2008-05-28T20:43:00.001-06:00

"For me, there are not a lot of fish in the sea!"

How many times have I heard people who are at the end of their rope with a relationship partner say something like: "There are other fish in the sea!"

Playboys and playgirls operate as if there are many, many fish in the sea ... but they never reach any significant level of fulfillment in relationship. The more fish ... the less meaningful fulfillment.

Young people in our modern age have the attitude that there are quite a few fish in the sea. Young men and women can be heard saying things like, "Oh, there are lots of eligible marriage partners!"

While this modern attitude is not as personally self-destructive as the attitude of the playboy or playgirl, it nonetheless serves to create millions of unhappy marriages or at least marriages which fall far short of the depths of heart and soul fulfillment. What passes for a "happy marriage" in modern times is often nowhere near the deep, exquisite, all-encompassing happiness that is possible in relationship.

If I want the unbelievably happy relationship I deserve, there really aren't very many fish in the sea for me at all.

One man tells the story that in nearly a twenty year period he could remember meeting only three or four true heart and soul opening partners ... none of them available for marriage.

Perhaps this man was not actively advertising for or praying for a heart and soul opening partner.

Perhaps he was thinking or acting in a way which blocked heart and soul opening partners from coming into his life.

Perhaps he was simply preparing himself, placing first things first.

Nonetheless, it would seem that available heart and soul opening partners might be as rare as 1-in-25,000. Maybe it's true, the old romantic idea that there is only one perfect partner for me in the entire earth.

Should these odds be discouraging to me? Not at all. All the energy of the entire universe is at work trying to bring about a meeting between me and a perfect heart and soul opening partner. All I have to do is stay out of relationships which would not open me spiritually the way a perfect heart and soul opening partner would open me ... and simply wait. It's "Sleepless in Seattle" all over again.

So this week my goal is to weaken in my mind the idea that there are many fish in the sea and strengthen my trust that a heart and soul opening partner who would be perfect for me is coming my way if I do not sabotage the natural process.

To this end as I awaken each day this week I spend a few minutes visualizing a more perfect heart and soul opening partner than I could have dreamed possible moving closer and closer to me. I see the two of us being nudged ever closer to our inevitable meeting by all events of the universe.

As an affirmation to start my day, I say aloud to myself a few times, until it begins to feel true for me:

"There are not a lot of fish in the sea for me! I'll be infinitely happier if I wait until a perfect partner comes into my life!"

Each hour during the day, I will take a few minutes to repeat to myself aloud any statement which rises in my mind which relates to this week's lesson. Example statements might be:

"I will not settle for less. I will wait for the highest, deepest, and best!"

"There is someone out there who can take me deeper than deep and higher than high. I am happy to wait until we find each other."

"If I just wait ... I'll be rewarded with a relationship that is more like heaven than earth."

Whatever statement comes to mind which is related to this week's theme will serve for my daily exercise.

Before retiring each day this week, I quiet my mind and allow my feelings to expand into enormous gratitude. I thank the universe for re-arranging itself and bringing to me the most wonderful heart and soul opening partner. I thank myself for being willing to wait and for being willing to let all blocks to my exquisite fulfillment be removed.

Before falling asleep I say to myself:

"A lot of fish in the sea would drown my spirit! But there is one who lights up my spirit beyond my wildest dreams!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 10

2008-05-27T21:11:00.000-06:00

"I am lifting up the entire earth!"

Never in the history of history have people really waited for a perfect heart and soul opening partner to come into their lives to open them up to heaven on earth.

Why is this?

One reason is that populations have been small and communication possibilities limited, so people haven't been able to reach huge numbers of heart and soul opening prospects as easily across continents as is possible today. When it is only feasible to reach a few thousand people or less, the chances of finding perfect heart and soul opening partners are relatively few.

A second reason is more or less related to the first. With changing technology, new information is made available. In the old days, since heart and soul opening partners wouldn't likely find each other anyway, there was little reason to teach people that heart and soul opening partners are ideal.

A third and final reason is that the consciousness of mankind in general has expanded to the point where people can now handle the tremendous power that heart and soul opening partners open each other to. Again, there was never much reason to teach the general population about something most people were not prepared to handle.

So whether I call myself lucky or consider myself blessed, I am living in a day and age when relationships are being raised to a new level all over the earth. Having come into contact with this course, obviously I am choosing to be in the service of this trend. I am one of those who are lifting mankind's relationships higher.

This week I wish to remind myself that in waiting and working for a new and higher kind of relationship I am serving a higher cause ... my own happiness on a far higher level than ever, a level that vastly enhances the happiness of everyone on earth.

To this end when I awaken each day this week, I will visualize the entire earth being uplifted and see myself as helping in this process.

I will also repeat to myself aloud several times over, until I begin to feel it true, a statement of this week's lesson:

"It's not just me! I'm lifting the entire earth higher!"

Then each hour during the day I do much the same. I close my eyes for 3 or 4 minutes each hour and visualize the entire earth being lifted up in consciousness. I see myself as part of the process by virtue of my commitment to my own relationship happiness.

Then I say aloud to myself a few times some statement related to this week's lesson. Some example statements might be:

"I am not alone in this! I am taking everyone home!"

"By waiting for the highest relationship I lift up all relationships the world over!"

"The tremendous fulfillment I find in relationship teaches the whole world the glory of fulfillment!"

Any statement which comes to mind related to the week's lesson is a good statement for practice.

Then before retiring each day this week, I take a 15 minute meditation time to see and feel myself loving everyone the world over. I realize that in addition to assuring my own future happiness, I'm working this relationships course because I love everyone in the world.

Just before falling asleep I smile and say to myself:

"This business of lifting up the world is fun!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 11

2008-05-26T21:42:00.001-06:00

"My perfect relationship serves a higher purpose!"

With last week's lesson I began to learn a principle which if learned fully deep inside me can eliminate a million and one relationship stresses.

The broadest statement of the principle is this:

If I'm in a relationship for some higher cause than my ego-vested interest, my ego pleasure, or my ego well-being, the relationship will be infinitely more fulfilling than otherwise.

Whereas my spirit simply radiates love and feels no sense of limitation at all, my ego sees only limitation and operates out of fear. When I'm guided by my spirit, relationship problems disappear as if they never were or could be. When I'm guided by my ego, relationship problems multiply endlessly.

The best way to rise above the limitation-thinking and fears of my ego in relationship is to be in a situation where the relationship is serving a higher cause.

In last week's lesson I saw that indeed I am being called to dedicate all my relationships to a higher purpose ... the purpose of bringing more light than ever to earth. But specifically I am being called to bring a new relationship technology and a new level of relationship to earth.

Let's suppose I said to myself, "I'm here now to show the earth a whole new level of relationship that has never before been experienced!"

If I say such a statement often enough and really mean it, what will be created in my life?

Well, since my mind is creative the circumstances will be set-up to make it come true. In other words, I REALLY WILL bring a whole new level of relationship to earth. Which means my relationship is serving a much higher purpose than merely my own ego-vested interests.

My goal this week is to practice getting my mind in the habit of thinking in these terms. I want to train my mind to focus on the higher purpose of my relationship rather than on my own narrow ego-vested interests.

When I wake up each day, I will visualize my perfect relationship to be in the service of a higher purpose, whatever purpose that may be, and say to myself several times over the statement of this week's lesson:

"My perfect relationship serves a higher purpose!"

Then each hour during the day, I listen inside and see if I can come up with specific examples of higher purposes which suit me. I might say something like:

"My perfect relationship serves to show the earth a whole new kind of relationship!"

"My perfect relationship serves to make a million and one people happy!"

"My perfect relationship serves to take people Home spiritually!"

Any statement of higher purpose will work for these exercises. In the old days marriages were contracted to bring together political kingdoms in peace, unite family businesses or financial holdings, join talents for a worthy cause, have babies so souls could embody on earth, etc. Such marriages served higher purposes even though the purposes might seem to some to be too earthly and not spiritual enough.

My higher causes can be heavenly.

I reflect on this at the end of each day as I allow myself before sleeping to visualize a relationship that is not beset by petty difficulties because such difficulties would seem insignificant compared to the wonderful higher purpose the relationship is serving.

As is becoming my habit, I allow myself to let go and feel awash in gratitude just before falling asleep, happy with myself, happy because relationships can be absolutely wonderful, and happy because I'm alive and there are higher purposes to serve.

I might say to myself one last time before sleep something like:

"I will not settle for less. My relationship will serve a purpose higher than imaginable."

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 12

2008-05-25T14:04:00.002-06:00

"There is nothing I need do but wait ...
and see what happens!"

Many people believe that to meet or keep a relationship partner they must maneuver, manipulate, "work at it", or otherwise "try to make things happen." Nothing could be further from the truth.

It doesn't hurt in the beginning to pray for a perfect relationship partner. But such a prayer is a prayer that has always been buried deep inside me anyway in the form of one of my deepest and truest heart's desires.

When I've been in touch with this deep heart and soul desire, which is to say when I've made my prayer, the follow-up required of me is not to try to make things happen but to let go of trying and trust that the universe is rearranging itself for me.

Sometimes it is very hard to let go and trust. My ego wants nothing more than to jump in and try to make things happen ... make some phone calls, put out some advertisements, go to some parties where people meet each other. All these ego-directed "doings" work against me.

The principle involved is simple. Nothing I could dream up to further my cause will really further my cause. My cause is furthered by getting myself out of the way and trusting that the universe knows better than I do what I really need in a relationship and how to provide the partner I really want.

This is the principle of non-resistance. Trying to make things happen often appears to work, but appearances are universally deceiving. If I try to make something happen, I am actually in resistance to the natural flow and therefore set into motion an equal and opposite force working against me.

Because resistance begets resistance, my perfect relationship will blossom much faster if I do not resist the way things are right now and allow everything to unfold as it will.

This week the goal of my practice with this course is to begin to teach my mind the incredible power of patience.

Each day this week as I awaken I will say to myself aloud and with meaning a statement of this week's lesson:

"There is nothing I need do but wait ... and see what happens."

Now comes the part that could be hard at first. It's called "not yielding to temptation." I might be tempted to flirt. I might be tempted to make a phone call. I might be tempted to say, "We need to talk." I might be tempted to think about a strategy.

My answer to all these temptations is the same. "Stop! I need do nothing!"

Each hour during the day, I set aside 5 minutes for meditation. During this meditation, I look back at myself during the previous hour to see if I was tempted to initiate a "doing" or a "happening." For each such temptation, I imagine myself in the same sort of situation in the future and in my mind I picture myself stopping when tempted and doing nothing instead.

If I visualize myself enough times in my imagination not yielding to the temptation to lapse into manipulating the universe, then I will train myself to become a master at letting the universe create for me. When I become a master at not trying, unimaginable good will flow to me effortlessly. So I dedicate myself to practicing this hourly practice with full endeavor.

At the end of each day this week, during my longer meditation, I will review my day to see how this principle of non-resistance has worked in various ways during the day. Perhaps I will see the value of non-resistance in other areas of life besides relationships.

Finally, before going to sleep, I say to myself aloud one last time for the day a statement of gratitude such as:

"Thank you, universe, for providing my good without me having to work at it or try to make things happen. Thank you!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 13

2008-05-24T09:15:00.003-06:00

"Signs and signals are everywhere!"

As previous lessons in this course have indicated, the universe is at work producing a right and perfect heart and soul opening partner in my life who will keep me open spiritually and romantically. But will the universe give me specific instructions in words to facilitate this happy state of affairs?

Well, yes. But ... I may not yet have developed my inner hearing to the point where I can hear words inside clearly, in which case the universe is going to speak to me in signs and signals.

For example, let's say the universe is guiding me to go to a particular place for some important reason, but I cannot hear the place name inside myself because my inner hearing is not yet well trained. What kind of signs and signals might the universe provide for me?

Well, maybe I would see that place name or hear that place name flashed 100 times in one day when I wouldn't usually have that name come up even once a day. Or maybe a child would blurt out that place name when I totally wouldn't have expected it. Or maybe a book would fall off a shelf and land with its pages open to that place.

If I am paying attention, I can see the universe flashing place names, person names, names of things, etc., much the time ... true or false?

Ancient Magyar peoples followed eagles flying across thousands of miles of Asia guiding them to a promised land, which became the country we know as Hungary.

Native Americans paid attention to not only birds but foxes, wolves, and all sorts of animals leading them in various directions.

Ancient Hebrews followed "pillars" of cloud and fire.

Actually the signs and signals used by the universe can be anything my mind is willing to accept, true or false? As the old saying goes, "If I am willing to see them, I will see them."

So what does it take to prepare my mind to take note of all the signs and signals that really are everywhere?

For one thing it takes willingness. Not many people are willing to watch for or listen for signs or signals because they prefer figuring things out intellectually. Of course intellectualizing works wonders when it comes to building bridges and skyscrapers, but intellectualizing fails utterly when it comes to creating the experience of high happiness. I must be willing to turn my life over to a higher intelligence which knows more than I do.

Once I have willingness, I need only train my mind to watch. I could call it "watchfulness." So my practice this week is to develop willingness and watchfulness.

I start each day this week with an expectant attitude. Upon awakening, I say to myself aloud many times over a statement of expectancy:

"Today I will see and hear signs and signals everywhere."

Then each hour during the day I will take a 5 minute meditation period during which I will see if I can hear inside some statement related to this week's subject. Whatever statement I hear inside, I will say aloud to myself a number of times until I begin to feel the truth of it on deep levels inside myself. Example statements might be:

"I am REALLY alert to the signs and signals that are everywhere present guiding me."

"I do not let my intellect cause me to miss the significance of the signs and signals that are everywhere present."

"Signs and signals guide me into situations that enhance my happiness more than I could have imagined."

"Only signs and signals will suffice as guidance until my inner hearing is far more developed."

Obviously when my inner hearing is really well developed and I'm hearing words inside guiding me, then I will no longer need signs and signals, and signs and signals will be less present. But even those who hear clearly inside enjoy a few signs and signals once in awhile, true or false?

As usual, before retiring for the day I allow myself to feel awash in gratitude. A few times before sleep I say to myself a statement of thanksgiving such as:

"How incredibly blessed I am! Signs and signals speak to me everywhere!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 14

2008-05-23T15:10:00.000-06:00

"Whatever I REALLY need is what I have!"

This week's lesson asks me to at least imagine that my soul has needs far beyond what I think my needs are.

I might think my needs are for success, recognition, money ... while my soul might really need the peace of a quiet existence on the edge of civilization. Someone else who thinks a slow-moving autonomous existence is ideal might really need to become the center of attention in a great whirlwind of world-changing activity.

As one famous spiritual course teaches, I don't really know what is in my own best interests.

After I've pursued what I think are my best interests a few times and been shown by the universe that none of these pursuits satisfied my soul, the idea might dawn on me that the universe knows better than my own thinking mind what is good for me.

Then I become teachable and surrendered to the guidance of the universe. Some might call it "flowing with the flow." Life becomes a lot easier and more enjoyable.

The primary reason why flowing with the flow is so enjoyable is that the universe is always providing me with what I really need. Somewhere in the depths of my soul, hidden from my conscious mind, I have awareness of my real needs and my soul is capable of rejoicing even when I'm going through a soul lesson which is painful to my ego.

Regarding painful lessons, the same famous spiritual course teaches that all things are lessons God would have me learn. Whatever one's concept of "God," even if one is an atheist, it's easy to conceive that everything one is going through, even the painful stuff, is teaching.

For illustration, I can think of my soul as a blind navigator feeling its way along. Everything in life that I experience as "right on" indicates to me I'm on course. Everything that is painful or doesn't seem to work.... "Oops! Time for a course correction!"

Finally when I've seen clearly how the universe teaches and guides me, I have no choice but to conclude that the learning of my soul is right on schedule. Whatever I really need is what I have.

This week I will start each day with a long meditation during which I allow my subconscious mind to give me mental pictures of all kinds of situations where I think I need something. With each such picture, I slowly, deliberately say, "But the truth is.... what I really need I already have."

All throughout the day I continue to watch for times when I lapse into thinking I need something I don't have. When I catch such lapses, I say to my mind:

"No! Whatever I REALLY need ... is what I have!"

I must be very firm with my mind in this. The temptation will arise again and again to deny the lesson and slip back into thinking as the world has trained me to think. To worldly thinking I must each time say a firm "No!"

At the end of each day I will give myself a review period. I will ask my subconscious mind to show me in various pictures just how perfect things really are, just how my real needs are already met.

If I'm sincere in my asking, I will be shown. This will lead automatically to the gratitude I've become accustomed to feeling at the end of the day.

I might just before sleep say to the universe as a whole,

"Thank you, universe! You always provide what I REALLY need!"

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Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 15

2008-05-22T15:16:00.001-06:00

"By giving of my heart and soul I sustain oneness!"

People who have been discouraged in relationships can be heard saying things like, "Relationships never work anyway!" Let me listen inside and see if this is true. Relationships never work anyway ... true or false?

I want to learn to listen deep inside for answers to such questions. I hope to guard against the temptation to answer with intellectual reasoning based on the way things appear. These kinds of questions need to be answered with the reasoning of the heart.

If I were to listen not to my heart but my ego, I might hear something like, "Yes, relationships never work anyway. Look around you at all the pain and suffering caused by relationships." But the ego doesn't really want me to feel happy anyway, so its answers can't be trusted.

Strangely, if I were to listen to my heart a "true" answer might also be heard, but not for the same reason. Very strictly speaking, relationships (implying "twoness") do not work, because what really works is ONENESS.

If one perceives two minds, two bodies, two hearts, two souls, etc., then there necessarily have to be two sets of vested interests. Within these two sets, many interests may be the same or similar, but some interests necessarily have to be different. Such a relationship is already conflicted by definition.

But this course is asserting there is a perfect partner for me and the entire universe is working to bring about our happiness together. Therefore the whole universe must be working to bring about with myself and my partner an experience of oneness.

Once upon a time there were two lovers who were so thoroughly in love with each other they were beyond being understood by earthlings. They lived for each other. "I give all of myself to my dear one!" was the unspoken motto of each. Neither one had a single interest which went against the interests of the other. Their interests were one.

Then very slowly at first, but gradually over time, they each began to hold part of themselves separate from the oneness. A little separate interest here. A little separate interest there. A little less giving of oneself here. A little less giving of oneself there.

Needless to say, their relationship became much more like the relationships earthlings are accustomed to seeing ... less than full giving of each other to each other, less than brightly glowing happiness, less than the unbelievable love they started with. They began resisting the gift of the universe instead of accepting.

My goal is nonresistance to the experience of oneness. With this week's lesson I wish to train myself to give of myself as never before, since this deep and full giving is the only way to have the experience of oneness.

Each day as I awaken I spend some time visualizing giving of myself in various conceivable situations I might encounter during the day. In my visualizations I might imagine my hands motioning from my heart to another, or from my soul (solar plexus) to another. I say to myself with each visualization:

"I give you my entire heart and soul and being!"

Then throughout the day during my hourly meditation breaks I close my eyes, take a few very deep breaths, and say a few times the statement of this week's lesson:

"By giving of my heart and soul I sustain oneness."

Before retiring for the day I ask my inner voice to give me reminders of instances during the day when my giving of myself was 100%, as well as instances when my giving of myself was less than complete. In no case do I feel guilty or blame myself for shortcomings. I merely attempt to pay attention to the difference in the way each feels inside myself, and the results.

How did it feel to give of myself 100%? What were the results? How did it feel to hold back my giving? What were the results?

As has become my practice, I let myself feel enormous gratitude before drifting off to sleep. I am learning an enormous lesson and gratitude is very appropriate. I might say one last time for the day:

"Right this minute I am giving all my heart and soul in gratitude!"

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Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 16

2008-05-21T20:58:00.000-06:00

"My joy brings me what I really want!"

If I were to think as the world thinks I would believe that achieving my goals or getting what I want produces the experience of joy. But this course is teaching me that the world's thinking is often 180 degrees off base.

What if it is the other way around? What if joy is my natural state and my willingness to experience my natural state of joy is what brings to me everything I really want?

How many times have I discovered that getting what I wanted did not bring me joy, or at least not very long-lasting joy?

How many times have I discovered that getting what I wanted led to problems and had me closing down my joy?

How many times have I discovered that by allowing my innate joy to shine through for no particular reason ... I am surprisingly rewarded with good I couldn't have expected?

Dare I say joy is contagious? Might I say joy attracts like unto itself? Is it reasonable to say joy brings me more good than I could have imagined?

Am I willing to say that if I want the experience of sharing with a perfect partner, I'd better be sharing my joy in order to create that perfect partner in my life?

Am I safe in saying no one ever created a perfect partner using worry, anxiety, fear, or earthly desires?

This week my goal is to bring on the experience of more joy than ever.

Each morning upon awakening I tell myself:

"I am going to experience higher levels of joy today than ever before!"

I say this to myself as many times over as it takes to begin feeling like it will be true. Is this called "programming myself?" Maybe not. Maybe I'm just undoing previous programming that has kept me from feeling unbelievable joy. Maybe it takes no brand new programming at all to feel my natural state, just the undoing of old useless programming.

Each subsequent hour of the day I begin by repeating several times over some statement which reminds me of my goal to feel joy. Examples of such statements might be:

"This coming hour I will feel joy no matter what!"

"For the next hour I will extend my joy to all things!"

"I greet everyone with joy and think of everyone with joy in my heart!"

"Joy is trying to burst open my heart and I am total cooperation!"

Before retiring each day, I will take a peek inside myself to see my joy is increasing. I will be glad and happy knowing that my heart is opening more each day. I might say before sleep:

"The joy inside me is wanting to burst into the open!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 17

2008-05-20T17:59:00.001-06:00

"Self-honesty brings me what I really, really want!"

With this week's lesson, I wish to examine the concept of self-honesty. It may very well help me to better understand what self-honesty is if I look for a moment at what it is not.

Always telling the literal truth to others is not the definition of self-honesty.

For example, let's imagine I live in World War II Holland and I am harboring a Jewish family which is hiding from the Nazis. If the Gestapo knocks on my door and asks me whether I know where this family is, my self-honest response is to lie to them, telling them I have no knowledge of this family.

In this example, the Gestapo are the ones being dishonest with themselves.

Always telling the truth to myself based on what I seem to know is not the definition of self-honesty.

For example, let's imagine I'm a young chess player who has just learned the game of chess. I hear about an opportunity to play against a chess master and I tell myself, "No way am I going to be able to beat such a master."

This sounds like being honest with myself, but have I listened inside to my inner voice? Maybe my inner voice is telling me not to judge by appearances. Perhaps my spirit is informing me that there is a miracle about to happen at the chess tournament if I would just listen inside and trust.

Seeing two separate people in relationship is not self-honesty.

The truth is we are all one. In the ego's world it's been convenient to allow our mind to be trained to seeing separation and believing in separation. But as science progresses there is more and more proof of what spiritual teachers have been telling us all along ... there is only one mind.

In 1999 in Salt Lake City one man harbored a grievance against the LDS Family History Library. He was frustrated and angry but did not act on his anger ... seemingly. Another man, a passerby who had no grievance at all with the library, suddenly entered the library, pulled out a gun, and started shooting people.

Psychics might say, "We are all connected," as if we are separate beings but in psychic association with each other. But are we really separate beings? Science is increasingly agreeing with spiritual teachers.

Ultimately I have little choice but to listen inside to my deepest inner truth to find out the truly self-honest response or the truly self-honest way of seeing things.

Being self-honest means being in-touch with my spirit and responding as my spirit would have me respond.

If somebody asks me, "How are you doing this morning?", I might be tempted to tune in to my sore muscles and answer, "I feel terrible!" But maybe if I listened to something deeper inside myself than my body or my emotions I would hear my inner voice counseling me to reply, "You know what? I couldn't be better!"

Why does my inner voice always counsel me to feel loving, joyous, energized, confident? Only because my true nature is loving, joyous, energized, and confident. My inner voice is honest to my true self and to what is really going on.

Self-honesty is defined as being consistent with my inner being and my inner knowledge.

So this week I want to work on a deeper self-honesty than I've ever worked on before. Yes, I want to guard against deceiving myself with respect to the facts. But I also want to look deeper within than ever before and find out facts that wouldn't have been apparent by looking at the surface.

Each day when I awaken I make a statement to myself of my dedication:

"Today I'm going to be more honest with myself than ever before!"

It does not matter if don't know how I am going to do this. The key here is to make the commitment. My subconscious mind is capable of doing the work without my conscious mind knowing how. I merely want to make the statement to myself enough times to start feeling the commitment.

Throughout the day I want to ask myself one question over and over again in many different situations. I might ask myself this question a thousand times during the day. The question is:

"Am I being honest with myself in this situation?"

The very act of asking will cause my inner being to respond. I will know without thinking about it intellectually whether I am being honest. With enough practice, I will begin to easily recognize the feeling of being honest with myself.

Before retiring each day this week I will say to myself a few times the statement of this week's lesson:

"Self-honesty brings me what I really, really want."

Then I ask myself one more time for the day, "What does it feel like to feel honest with myself?" As I fall asleep, I bask in the feeling of self-honesty.

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 18

2008-05-19T13:02:00.001-06:00

"I look away from my ego and toward my spirit for guidance!"

One question many in ego relationships have is: why not just substitute one relationship for another when the going gets tough?

The answer is: in reality there is no other relationship. I am "in relationship" with myself. It's all about me.

I might think I can substitute one partner for another, but I cannot substitute for myself. The circumstances of my life are merely showing me a reflection of my own state of mind. Until my own mind is changed, I will draw to myself the same "lessons" again and again and again if I try substitution. Better to learn my lessons the first time if the opportunity hasn't already been effectively sabotaged.

Sabotaged? What if the relationship has become so detrimental to my well-being that the detriment outweighs any possibility that I might learn my lessons given my present state of consciousness? Maybe I'm using the relationship to "beat up" myself and I'm so weary of the beating that it would be very hard to even begin seeing clearly enough to make the necessary mind changes. What if I need to step out of the relationship in order to begin to see more clearly?

In that case, it's not really substitution, is it? My intent is not to substitute another relationship. My intent is to step back, clear my energy, and take a look at myself.

What if I did that? What if I stepped back, cleared my energy, and took a look at my own ego desire to have myself hurt ... and then really decided differently. Would I then enter back into the same relationship?

Not at all. I've learned a lesson. I've changed my mind. My new mindset is now ready to produce a new kind of relationship.

This is not substitution. This is moving forward in my spiritual opening.

The best way to fully integrate this lesson in my inner being is to practice with all sorts of situations. With respect to my job, my living situation, my daily routine, my school, my acquaintances ... whatever ... am I tempted to run and substitute, using the ego slogan "the grass is greener somewhere else?"

Or am I listening inside not to my ego but to the voice of my spirit?

My spirit could be counseling me one of two ways:

If I am in my right place with only temporary difficulties, and the highest good has not yet been gained from the situation, then my inner voice will be saying something like, "Be at peace and wait." I might also be hearing a few or many instructions on how to handle myself, depending on how well my inner hearing is developed.

If I'm ready to move on to a whole new kind of situation because the learning and opening potential of the current situation has become greatly sabotaged, I might hear inside something like, "It's okay to walk away from this. You have much higher good waiting for you elsewhere."

So the practice this week is to listen carefully inside myself and identify every time my ego is telling me to run, or hide, or substitute greener pastures ... and also what my spirit is saying at a deeper level.

Each day upon awakening I take a moment to feel gratitude for the lessons I'm learning in this course and I say to myself a few times some such statement as:

"Today I will know the difference between the counsel of my ego and the counsel of my spirit."

It does not matter that I might have had a hard time knowing the difference in the past, or that I might feel somehow inadequate in this respect. Remember, saying it to myself activates my subconscious mind to work for it.

During the day I will ask myself whenever any difficulty arises:

"Am I tempted to run away from this or try to substitute 'greener pastures'?"

When I find myself thinking those kinds of thoughts, I recognize that I'm in my ego and tell myself, "No ... I'm going to listen deeper inside."

In other words, as often as it comes up I will be saying "No" to my ego and dedicating myself to hearing my spirit instead. It might not be easy to always hear my spirit in the beginning, but the more I say "No" to my ego, the easier it will become to hear my spirit.

The next step after saying "No" to my ego's counsel, is to ask inside, "I need to step back from this situation, true or false?", or "I need to wait and see what happens, true or false?", then listen inside to my inner being. The more I ask these kinds of questions, the more adept I will become at hearing what my spirit is really telling me deep inside.

If I need to I can take these kinds of questions into my sleep at the end of the day and see if my spirit "speaks louder" while I sleep.

Before retiring at the end of each day I simply ask myself, "Are there any still unresolved situations where I've been tempted to substitute greener pastures?" My subconscious mind will let me know if there is. Then I ask my spirit to give me clear guidance while sleeping.

If I don't have any of these particular kinds of unresolved situations, I can still gain practice by asking for answers to other questions in life. Before falling to sleep I simply say happily to myself a few times:

"During my sleep my spirit will guide me. When I awaken I will be enlightened."

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Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 19

2008-05-18T15:51:00.003-06:00

"My good comes from one source only
and I am staying in-touch with that source!"

Many people think that flirting is a harmless pastime. But I want to look deeper and see what flirting really is and what it implies.

Inside myself I know exactly what I really want. My spirit knows what is right for me at any given moment, whether it be a particular job, car, living circumstance, spiritual path, relationship, or anything else.

My ego, on the other hand, wants to sample this and sample that, dabble a little here and there, etc., on the secret premise that (keep this a secret) maybe a greener pasture will be discovered or maybe there is something better to be had over and above what my spirit knows about.

In other words, flirting is a deliberate attempt by my ego to ignore what I know to be true in my spirit. Although disguised as a harmless attempt to incur an "added experience", flirting is actually an ego attempt to ignore the source of my true happiness and, if carried far enough, will destroy my happiness.

If a man flirts with a hundred and one half-baked teachers, for example, when he is being guided by his heart and soul to one particular fully enlightened teacher, he is sabotaging his spiritual success, true or false?

If a woman flirts with a dozen career choices when she is being guided by everything deep inside herself to one particular career, she is slowing herself down and delaying her ultimate happiness no matter how much fun she thinks she is having along the way, true or false?

When a visitor from outer space flirts with 50 or 60 different fascinating worlds instead of staying on track with the mission plan, what can be said about the visitor's respect for the plan?

What can be said about the possible success of anyone who does not respect the plan in any area of endeavor?

It may not be evident at first glance, but if I give myself permission to look the issue straight in the eye and call a spade a spade I see that flirting is a blatant form of self-dishonesty (my ego giving my spirit the finger, if I need a picture).

No matter how much my ego counsels that flirting is "harmless fun" or "healthy checking out of possibilities", I want to train my mind to look deeper inside and find what is true happiness and what are the possibilities that my spirit is saying are truly mine to pursue.

The solution to seemingly harmless but actually self-destructive flirting is simple, although it may take some training to become a master. All I have to do is ask myself every time I'm tempted, "Is this what I really, really, really, really, really want?"

Half the time just asking this question will have me stopping in my tracks. The other half the time this question will at least have me slowing down and looking deeper inside. The question "Is this what I really, really, really, really, really want?" is like a spiritual highway patrol officer radar-checking a road the ego would rather race down at breakneck speed without getting caught.

This week I simply want to train myself to be a highway patrol officer working for my spirit, in a manner of speaking.

Each morning when I awaken I will say to myself a few times, until I really begin to believe it:

"Today I am not going to let my ego get away with flirting."

Then I spend a few minutes in meditation each morning,letting my subconscious mind give me pictures of situations I might encounter during the day where I would be tempted to flirt. With each picture that comes to mind, I also see myself hesitating and asking myself:

"Is this what I really, really, really, really, really want?"

Then throughout the day I will actively watch for and identify temptations to flirt, responding to each temptation with the same flirtation-slowing question:

"Is this what I really, really, really, really, really want?"

If I ask this question enough during the day, by the end of the day I should be feeling better about myself than ever before.

Prior to sleeping I again take time for meditation during which I ask for the feeling of what it feels like to totally not flirt. After I have felt this feeling fully, I ask for the feeling that is felt while flirting. Then I shift back and forth a few times feeling first the one feeling then the second, and comparing the two.

What does ego guidance feel like? What does it feel like to be totally in-touch with my spirit and my spirit's guidance?

Before falling asleep I thank my lucky stars that I am evermore in-touch with my spirit instead of my ego. I might say a few times to myself the statement of this week's lesson:

"My good comes from one source only and I'm staying in-touch with that source!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 20

2008-05-17T09:08:00.000-06:00

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 21

2008-05-16T09:13:00.003-06:00

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 22

2008-05-15T09:16:00.005-06:00

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 23

2008-05-14T10:36:00.003-06:00

"I burn up anger before it burns up my relationship!"

A million and one modern psychologists argue that anger is a healthy emotion and only its form of expression needs to be channeled: "Express your anger, but express it in some positive non-harmful way."

This course teaches that anger is an ego-based emotion (one's spirit does not get angry) and is therefore unhealthy by definition. This course also teaches that there is really no way to express anger that is non-harmful. Any expression of ego is harmful.

What then is to be done with anger?

Ironic as it might sound, anger can be burned up before it does harm.

Anger derives from misperception, as is the case with all ego devices. Being derived from not seeing clearly, anger energy invariably burns up like a wasp flying into a bug-zapper when exposed to seeing things in a different light.

Ninety-nine percent of the time all that is necessary to dissipate anger is to ask sincerely:

"How can I see this situation in a different light?"

The other one percent of the time it's not that seeing in a different light doesn't work. It always works. But one percent of the time the ego's fear of loss is so overwhelming that it is difficult to shift into any other way of seeing things.

In that one percent of cases, it works better for me to seclude myself in an isolated place and give myself permission to feel the anger fully, fully, fully ... as deep as it goes and one hundred percent. I can ask my subconscious mind and inner being for help:

"I really, really, really want to feel this anger fully, one hundred percent!"

I can say such a statement aloud to myself as many times over as it takes for the deepest fury to rise fully to the surface. If it comes out as a scream, or a furious yelling, so much the better. But when it's out, when I've felt it fully, then I will automatically start seeing things in a different light altogether ... automatically because my spirit wanted me to see things in a different light all along and only my anger was blocking my seeing things in the way my spirit desired me to see.

In all cases, the ninety-nine percent and the one percent, I burn up my anger quickly ... before it burns me up, and before I ever spew such negative energy onto another person.

How good can relationships be if anger doesn't get a chance to reproduce its virus inside me or spread its contagious effects? I can't even imagine, can I?

So my goal this week is to work on releasing anger before it ever has a chance to grow inside me and become destructive. I do this either by consciously switching quickly to a different way of seeing things or by allowing myself to thoroughly feel my anger in private and letting my subconscious mind do the work of giving me a new way of seeing.

Each day this week upon awakening I give myself the pleasure of working in my mind, preparing myself for the day. I ask my subconscious mind to give me pictures of situations that could conceivably arise during the day in which I might be tempted to feel anger. With each such picture, I visualize myself recognizing the anger, stopping, and asking myself:

"How can I see (name situation) in a totally different light?"

My subconscious mind will feed me a different way of seeing each of these situations, and I allow myself to feel what it feels like to have a new way of seeing things.

Throughout the day I monitor my feelings, determined to catch myself any moment that anger begins to be felt inside. Every time I catch myself with even the slightest anger, I stop and ask myself:

"How can I see (name situation) in a totally different light?"

I especially pay attention to the times when I find myself in resistance to seeing things differently, those times when my ego is "throwing a fit", so to speak, and saying, "I don't want to see things differently!"

Those are the times when I force myself to find a secluded place and "get my anger out" not by lashing it out, but by allowing myself to feel the anger to its full extent.

At the end of each day I feel at peace inside, not holding any anger whatsoever. I celebrate my own good luck by sending blessings to those who are not so fortunate, those who have allowed anger to rule their lives and poison their relationships.

One last time before sleep, I gratefully say to myself:

"Now that anger doesn't burn up my relationships, my relationships are burning a path to heaven!"

Also available free of charge online:
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Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 24

2008-05-13T20:42:00.002-06:00

"Free of fear, my relationship glows!"
In earlier lessons of this course, I've worked on releasing guilt, anger, and other ego-based emotions before such emotions have a chance to influence my relationships negatively.

What if I could work inside myself at even deeper levels and eliminate the roots of all these negative emotions?

All negative emotions which damage my relationships and otherwise make life miserable for me derive from one underlying emotion - fear.

What if I could work deep inside myself and eliminate any and all fear that damages relationships?

There are two ways to do this.

One way to become fearless is to look deep, deep inside myself and see that all fear comes from one major root ... the belief that I can somehow be hurt or harmed ... and then focus on the inner realization that only my body could be hurt or harmed, and I am not my body. The full and complete realization that I am a spiritual being dissipates fear.

The second way to eliminate fear is to say, "There must be an extremely higher power than myself working for my highest good, as if my own power is just the tiniest tip of the iceberg. Therefore I have every reason to trust." Trust evaporates fear. Total trust evaporates all fear.

So this week I want to dig deep inside myself and replace root systems of fear with a powerful awareness of my spiritual nature and with a powerful foundation of trust.

Each morning when I awaken I ask myself if there is any fear inside me that would like to rise to the surface and show itself to me.

With whatever fear I see, I use the following affirmation:

"This (name the object of fear) cannot hurt me REALLY."

I say this to myself as many times as it takes to begin to realize the truth of it. I might say it 500 or 600 times over a period of days if need be, but certainly 15 or 20 times over when the fear is first shown to me.

As a spiritual being, nothing can really hurt me, but I'll never convince myself of this truth unless I say it many times over. If I've told myself a million times that I can be hurt by this or that, then the roots of fear have grown deep and it takes a deep retraining of the mind to pull them out.

My ego will say, "Oh yes you can be hurt, so don't believe your spirit when it says you can't be hurt!" But my ego cannot prevail against my spirit forever. Here is something to keep in mind this week:

If I say the truth enough times, even though at first I don't believe it, eventually the truth prevails.

Is that all I have to do?

That's all. Why? Because if I'm telling myself something in my mind ... the world re-arranges itself to prove me right. In this case, pretty soon every event and circumstance I encounter in the world is showing me the truth of what I'm telling myself and powerfully reinforcing the cleansing of my fears and the establishment of my trust.

Throughout the day each day this week I continue with my affirmations of this one simple truth:

"This (name the object of fear) cannot hurt me REALLY."

I can use this same affirmation with each fear that comes up. I don't need to believe it to use it, although I will eventually believe it. But I must force myself to keep saying it if I am to gain the benefits.

The temptation to quit saying this affirmation may be enormous, because all my life I've been taught that I can be hurt or harmed. I must not yield to this temptation. Under no circumstances am I to quit saying this affirmation during this week.

At the end of each day I take some time to feel the power of being fearless. I ask myself:

"What does it FEEL like to have no fear whatsoever?"

I can also use this question with specifics in mind:

"What does it FEEL like to have no fear whatsoever about (a specific situation)?"

The goal here is to get into the feeling of not having any fear or not having any fear with respect to a specific situation. Once the feeling begins to be felt, then the goal is to hold onto the feeling, feeling it more and more completely. I want to feel this for as long as possible each day.

Finally, just before falling to sleep I will allow myself to feel gratitude as I say to myself some restatement of this week's lesson such as:

"Without fear present, my relationships literally glow!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 25

2008-05-12T08:49:00.005-06:00

"I agree quickly and my relationship is healed!"
The purpose of this course is not to advocate any particular religious beliefs or any religion at all. In fact religious beliefs have historically tended to be stumbling blocks to harmonious relationships.

On the other hand, the teachings of true spiritual teachers, be they of any religion or no religion, are often extremely valuable and practical, so much so that this course cannot afford to not use the teachings of the greatest spiritual teachers if it helps create better relationships.

Actually, all really great spiritual teachers teach the same teachings. Whatever Buddha teaches, Jesus teaches. Whatever Lao Tzu teaches, Muktananda teaches. These teachings are called "universal truths."

One incredibly valuable universal truth is that agreement brings on the experience of oneness and we are all in agreement at some deep level despite the appearance of disagreements on the surface. Jesus told his disciples, "Agree with your adversary quickly," by which he really meant something like, "Find the place inside of you where you agree ... and you will feel your oneness. Oneness is everything."

This week I want to practice agreeing quickly. Only my ego would want to disagree and I'm not interested in letting my ego have control. My spirit is totally agreeable and is only interested in agreement.

As I awaken each day this week I spend as much as fifteen minutes preparing my mind for the day's breakthrough agreements. I let my subconscious mind give me pictures of situations that could conceivably arise during the day in which I would be tempted to disagree with someone. With each such situation, I picture myself looking deep inside to a place where I agree.

With each picture in my mind I say to myself:

"I agree in order to feel oneness, and oneness solves everything."

Each hour during the day I take a short five minute period for review of my progress. During the last hour was I tempted to be in disagreement? Did I switch into agreement? Did I feel oneness? Did the situation change for the better? Did healing occur?

At the end of each day, I take a full twenty minute meditation period during which I practice feeling oneness with as many people as come to mind even though they might not be physically present. Whoever comes to mind I simply say:

"At some level (person's name), we are in agreement and it's easy to feel oneness with each other."

I say this until I begin to actually feel the oneness in each case. Strangely enough when I practice feeling oneness with someone I might have disagreed with, the universe tends to re-arrange itself and we find ourselves agreeing.

So I have something to be very grateful for before falling asleep. My whole world is becoming more agreeable. Before sleeping I say to myself a few times a statement of this week's lesson such as:

"I totally love healing my relationships by agreeing quickly!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 26

2008-05-11T11:55:00.002-06:00

"By helping others to joyous relationships my own relationship blossoms!"
This course has been teaching me we are all in this together. In other words, one person's happiness increases every one's happiness. One couple's happiness in relationship expands the happiness of all relationships.

There is but one energy. If I'm blossoming into happiness, other blossoms are opening also. If others are beginning to glow, the glowing inside myself cannot long be contained.

This means that the more people who create highly evolved relationships in terms of happiness and deep soul satisfaction, the easier it is for my own relationships to rise to levels of fulfillment never before imagined.

Helping other people to have better relationships is definitely one of my goals, for it very much serves my own self-interest and happiness.

One of the best ways to help a great many people have better relationships is to spread the word about the existence of this course. This course is free of charge and invariably helps anyone who practices the lessons. The more people who are taking this course, the better for me and everyone.

But it's much more than just that, isn't it? There are definite psychological effects within myself when I help others find out about the existence of this course.

For one thing, the learning of any truth becomes more deeply integrated inside myself if I am committed to helping others find out about the same truth. My ego says to itself, "There is REALLY a commitment here, so I'd better not try to treat this frivolously."

Then far more than even that there is an immediate spiritual opening that comes with giving of this kind.

When Jesus had opened his disciples to a certain degree he advised them, "Go out and tell others that there is incredibly good news!" He told them this because he knew that his disciples would open up further than ever by virtue of the giving ... whether or not anybody ever took heed of their good news.

An example is seen in the LDS (Mormon) Church which sends thousands of young missionaries out into the world every month. Yes, their church has grown rapidly. But the greatest value of their spreading the word is the transformation that takes place inside these young men and women while they are in the missionary field, the spiritual transformation that takes place inside oneself when one is giving the good news about something that could be helpful to others.

So this week to celebrate the approximate mid-year of these lessons I dedicate myself as never before to evangelizing or advertising or networking this course.

Each day this week upon awakening I ask myself:

"How can I let others know about this course?"

Ideas will pop into my mind.

Maybe I will feel guided to write a chain-letter which mentions some wonderful breakthroughs I've had with this course.

Maybe it will cross my mind to dial into a radio talk show.

Maybe I will think about mentioning this course in a talk given in church or school.

I write down every idea that pops into mind and determine to give myself the opportunity to serve by following through on at least some of the ideas. I will do my part in spreading this course.

During the day this week, as I go about my business, I frequently ask myself:

"How can I introduce (this person, these people) to the Relationships Course?"

Whatever answers rise in my mind, I do not hesitate to "do as told," so to speak, knowing that some good, maybe great good, is going to come from willingness to act on my inner promptings.

Before retiring each day this week I devote a full 20 minutes to meditation during which time I visualize this course spreading and spreading to thousands of people. I might even visualize angels gently and lovingly carrying this course all over the world and people everywhere glowing as their relationships improve.

Before falling asleep I notice how much I myself am radiant as a result of helping others in this mission of uplifting relationships. I say to myself a statement like:

"Helping others to joyous relationships is wonderful fun!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 27

2008-05-10T12:44:00.004-06:00

"I imagine the world taking a quantum leap into happier relationships!"
I have learned so far in this course that one of the reasons the "magic" wears off in romantic relationships is the pursuit of ego-vested interests.

Since my ego is an illusory self-identification developed in mind for the very purpose of perceiving myself as separate (newborn babies have little or no ego), and a sense of separation sabotages relationships....

What if I could reach the point where my ego, my self-identification, was not the most important aspect of my existence? What if my ego could become extremely unimportant compared to my spirit?

Well, the reduction of the importance of the ego is the very purpose of this course and the undoing of ego is what is destined to lift the quality of all relationships everywhere in the world.

In last week's lesson it was hinted that the more people who are working the lessons of this course, the easier it will be for me to have an uplifted relationship. What if leaping into an uplifted relationship was not only easy, but automatic?

Since the whole world is energy constantly re-arranging itself, a certain "critical mass" could and will be reached of so many people subduing their egos that the entire world leaps up to a level of much higher quality relationships ... automatically.

Any device I could promote for undoing the ego's influence and increasing the experience of spirit would serve to move the world's energy toward this critical mass.

Amazing as it might seem, one such device is my own imagination. If I can really, REALLY, REALLY imagine the whole world catapulting up into much happier relationships, there is not much that can keep it from happening, is there?

So this week I devote myself to consciously imagining.

Each day this week upon awakening, I allow myself 20 minutes for visualization. I visualize the whole world experiencing a quantum leap into relationship glory that would have been thought impossible. What that picture looks like I will not decide in advance. I will simply ask and let it be given to my mind as a vision. I allow myself to see the vision clearly and feel its effects.

During the day I practice opening my heart and seeing things joined in oneness, much the way it would appear if I've made up the whole world in my imagination anyway.

The heart opening part I accomplish by as often as I can remember during the day saying not aloud but in my mind to everything and everybody, "I love you!"

Once I've said "I love you!" often enough to cause a shift in the way I'm seeing things, I pay attention to how everything and everybody really is joined in one energy. I might tell myself some such statement as:

"What if I really HAVE made this all up in my mind?"

The goal here is not only to be in love and see things differently than usual, but to coax into my mind a glimpse of how powerfully creative my imagination really is. Hoping to train my mind for this transcendent glimpse, I practice seeing this way as often as is practical during the week.

Then before retiring each day I again use an entire 20 minute meditation for my visualization exercise ... again asking for the vision and holding onto whatever vision I receive of the world taking a quantum leap in quality of relationships.

Before falling to sleep I remind myself how really happy I am underneath any surface appearances of unhappiness and say one more time for the day the statement of this week's lesson:

"I imagine the world taking a quantum leap into happier relationships."

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 28

2008-05-09T14:48:00.001-06:00

"My spirituality enhances all my relationships!"
As I launch into the second half of this course, I want to rededicate myself to the one endeavor that is really going to improve all my relationships: my spiritual opening.

I remind myself that being spiritual is not the same as being religious. Whether I profess any religion or no religion, whether I am a believer in God or an atheist, my spirituality can still shine brightly on all relationships in my life.

Living spiritually means being in touch with my inner spiritual wisdom and strength, being honest with my inner spiritual self, and allowing my inner spiritual love and joy to radiate to everyone.

Such spirituality is more than just a positive attitude, isn't it?

Many people never look quite far enough to see the tricky aspects of spirituality. For example, it is spiritually dishonest to say I'm unhappy. Let's say I'm putting myself through some very painful lessons and say, "Oh, no! This is really, really hurting me!" Yet if I stop resisting the pain long enough to re-establish my awareness of my inner spiritual self, I find that my spirit is nothing but inner peaceful happiness, and this awareness eases the pain and brings healing.

Extending outward, my spirit also brings ease of pain and healing to others, doesn't it? It's easy to see relief happening when someone else, a relationship partner for example, is in pain and I am able to respond to that person not from my ego but from my inner peace.

What if I could see how my spirituality brings healing to everyone around me and enhances all relationships? I will clearly see this as a result of this week's practice.

Each day this week upon awakening I will say to myself aloud a few times a statement of dedication and reminder:

"I really, really dedicate myself more than ever to spiritual opening, knowing that my spirituality enhances all my relationships!"

As I go through my day whenever I am in contact with or think about another person I ask myself questions like:

"How would my spirit see this person?"

"What would my spirit say to this person?"

"How would my spirit connect with this person?"

The idea is to develop the habit of constantly being in touch with my spirit and opening to greater expression of spirit through constant practice.

Each hour I take a few moments to monitor my progress during the previous hour. Have I been asking inside? Have I been following my spiritual promptings? What new feelings have I felt? What positive effects have I noticed in myself and others?

Before retiring for the day, I take a few minutes to remember each person I had contact with during the day, no matter how brief and incidental the contact, and say to myself about each:

"My spirit brings something wonderful to you (name the person) and to both of us!"

Before falling to sleep I feel great relief that my spirit knows how to nourish all relationships, and great joy that I am choosing to open spiritually more than ever. I say to myself one last time for the day:

"My spirit is thrilled to enhance all relationships for me!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 29

2008-05-08T15:07:00.005-06:00

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 30

2008-05-07T10:46:00.005-06:00

"With careful listening I heal my relationship!"

Once I have established my spirituality and my spiritual opening as the foundation of all my relationship success, I can then turn some of my attention toward the more surface level relationship tools knowing that their use is well grounded.

Perhaps no commonly identified relationship tool is more important than willingness to carefully listen.

Some have said that there is no communication on earth because each person hears only what he or she wants to hear.

Others say there is no real communication because people hear only what they can hear based on their limited and distorted perception.

Of what value then is careful listening?

The value of listening is deeper and more profound than one might imagine. Listening is actually like a door opening a crack to possible real communication, which is wordless but exceptionally healing.

How many times have I heard of couples arguing furiously and then later "making up" without actually verbally resolving the issues about which they were arguing in the first place?

Their "making up" was done wordlessly. Perhaps subconsciously they knew that if they got back into words they would get back into disagreement, but by connecting with each other on a wordless level an inner agreement automatically happens.

Careful listening opens the door, even if only a crack, for the agreement that happens when two souls connect with each other. In other words, careful listening involves "listening" to more than just the words, true or false?

That's exactly what happens. Merely the willingness or attempt to carefully listen is like saying to the universe, "I really want to communicate," and I know from earlier lessons in this course that whatever I really want begins to come true as soon as I'm in touch with the desire.

Since everyone has a different perception and different past learning, no one hears another's words in the way they were meant to be heard. But the desire of the willing listener is for true communication, so this desire leads to listening deeper than words even though listening to words is what appears to be going on.

Willingness to listen is actually willingness to spiritually communicate, isn't it? And as I have learned, spiritual communication solves all problems.

My goal with the lesson for this week is to see the value of careful listening by consciously listening more carefully than ever.

Each day this week upon awakening I remind myself of my goal for the week by saying aloud a few times:

"Today I listen to others more carefully than ever!"

"If it's my romantic partner, I listen worshipfully!"

As I'm saying these statements, if pictures come to mind of myself listening carefully in different situations with different people, so much the better.

Each hour during the day I take a few minutes to review my progress of the previous hour. Did I listen carefully in this situation or that situation? In what cases was it easier to listen carefully and in what situations were the other person's words going in my ears without any deeper hearing taking place? Would a deeper dedication on my part improve my listening?

At the end of the day before retiring I spend some time in a somewhat longer period of review. How did it feel to listen carefully enough for a connection to be made with the other person? Did a feeling of rapport or understanding get established? What other positive results did I notice?

Before falling asleep for the day I say to myself a statement of happiness such as:

"Wow! Careful listening is really fun and it really works!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 31

2008-05-06T13:05:00.001-06:00

"I have no need to be right ...
so relationships are easy and fun!"
A relationship which is experiencing even the most minor difficulty must have one of the relationship partners wanting to be right about something. If neither relationship partner has any vested interest in being right, then oneness is experienced and the relationship is fine.

Spiritual teachers say it this way: "Would you rather be right ... or happy?"

Happiness is by far the better choice. How could I ever be sure I was right about anything anyway? My human perception is hopelessly limited. I have no idea what is really going on.

Even if I had a slight glimmer of what is really going on, I could only judge with my past learning which is hopelessly inadequate for any kind of meaningful judgment. After all, if my past learning had been correct, I would already be living in constant blissful happiness.

If I were lucky enough to be right about anything, it would be just that ... pure luck. So my best bet, especially with respect to relationships, is to tell myself I know nothing.

This week I want to train my mind to know nothing. Some would judge this to be "crazy," backwards from what the world would advise. But let me remember that if the world's teaching was on the right track, then the world wouldn't be so full of pain, sickness, and death. So maybe what enlightened spiritual teachers teach is not a bad idea.

If I'm not absolutely perfectly at peace inside ... then I need teaching, don't I? But thinking I already know something effectively blocks any teaching I might really need, doesn't it? Therefore, if I could reach a state of mind where I literally know nothing, then I would have nothing in my mind to block being taught what I really need to be taught.

So each day this week upon awakening I say to myself aloud over and over again until I start to feel the truth of it:

"All throughout the day today, I make myself happy and teachable by knowing nothing."

Then each hour during the day I take 5 minutes to monitor my progress. Did I choose to hold onto "being right" during the last hour? Or did I surrender my need to be right and relax into knowing nothing? Can I picture myself surrendering even more during the coming hour?

To prepare myself for the coming hour, I say aloud to myself a few times, perhaps visualizing while saying it, a statement of surrender such as:

"I really don't know what any of this is for."

"I don't know what is best for me or anyone else."

"By not knowing anything, I'm wide open to possibilities."

At the end of the day I take a longer review period and see if I can remember what it feels like to not have to be right and what it feels like to admit I really know nothing.

Before falling to sleep I rejoice that I don't have to be the cause of relationship problems by insisting that I'm right or that I know better. I rejoice that instead I can be the solution.

Before falling asleep I allow myself to feel great happiness because I can literally produce problem-free relationships. I say one more time the statement of this week's lesson:

"I have no need to be right ... so relationships are easy and fun!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 32

2008-05-05T15:06:00.003-06:00

"My inner peace heals all relationships!"
How many times have I thought to myself that I really would like to be peaceful inside?

How many times have I thought that I really, really, really, really, really, really, really want to be peaceful inside?

How many times have I thought, maybe not paying much attention to what I'm thinking, that peace doesn't matter ... that it doesn't matter if I'm angry, fearful, frustrated, discouraged, depressed, or vengeful?

Psychologists say many people will tell you they want inner peace, but not many people really want inner peace with all their heart and soul and mind in this moment ... otherwise they would experience peace in this moment, since peace is who they are at the deepest level inside.

Peace is merely a choice. Many people who think they are about to die give up all concerns of this world and in doing so experience what is called "unbelievable peace."

This is the same peace Paul writes about in the Bible, a peace "which passeth all understanding." Spiritual teachers of all religions and no religion have always taught this peace is inside us, ours for the asking.

Do I want peace enough to ask for it with all my heart and soul and all my being?

When I've had enough of pain, sickness, suffering and death ... will I finally ask for peace with all my heart and soul?

If I do choose to experience this unbelievable peace, how will my peace affect others around me? This is the million dollar question with respect to relationships. Will the peace I have chosen for myself throw others into turmoil? Or will the peace I have chosen for myself bring peace to others also?

The answer is in the riddle: What causes healing while being contagious?

If I ever need a doctor or nurse, I want a doctor or nurse who is peaceful inside, true or false?

So this week I want to call upon not the inner peace of another, but my own inner peace. I want to bring forth my inner peace, to experience my inner peace as never before.

Each day upon awakening I allow myself 20 full minutes for meditation. During meditation I call upon the peace inside myself, asking:

"Peace? Are you there? What do you feel like? I want to feel you as never before!"

During each day in my mind I say to everyone I talk to, everyone I hear about, everyone I see ... even to animals, trees, and all living things:

"My peace I give to you! My peace brings you healing!"

I say this in my mind as many times as I can during the day, a hundred times an hour if possible, but never just rote, always with deep meaning.

At the end of the day I again allow myself a meditative period during which I review the day's progress. Was I able to choose my inner peace and hold onto my inner peace all day long? When giving my peace to others, what results did I observe? Did I find myself a better person for all of this? Did my relationships improve?

Before falling asleep I allow myself to feel awash in gratitude and visualize my peace healing the entire world. I say one last time for the day the statement of this week's lesson:

"My inner peace heals ALL relationships! Yes!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 33

2008-05-04T14:52:00.004-06:00

"Everything is just exactly as it should be!"

It's one thing to see that everything is going wrong in the world.

It's another thing to grasp that everything is working together for a perfect outcome in every situation everywhere.

Which of these ways I choose to see things is going to largely determine my emotional state, true or false?

If I see things in a positive light, I'm going to feel wonderful. If I see things from a negative point of view, I'm going to be dragged down by anger, fear, or whatever other emotion I'm generating for myself that feels like hell.

Certainly heaven is here and now ... or hell is here and now ... depending on how I'm viewing things.

Therefore what I really want to do is always see things in a positive light so I feel great and my good vibrations affect everyone around me in a positive way.

But how do I see things in a positive light always, no matter what?

I do this by re-training my mind to focus away from negative viewpoints. I train myself to know that everything is just exactly as it should be.

This takes some explanation.

What if all I could see was the very little tip of the iceberg while the big giant foundation of the iceberg was not visible to me? So let's say I could see maybe 5% of what was really going on while 95% of what was really going on is not something I can see or make a judgment about.

Now there are two possibilities. Either all these 95% hidden inter meshing gears of the universe are working together for the highest good and everything is just exactly the way it should be, or ... the universe follows no rhyme or reason.

The universe is orderly or not, can be trusted or not.

Science and religion both tell us there are natural laws, universal laws, at work which can be trusted. If that's true then everything is just exactly as it should be.

One advantage of knowing that everything is just exactly as it should be is that I can relax and enjoy life. Sure there are going to be pains if I or others temporarily step "off course". Since pain is one of the universe's course-correction devices, even pain can be seen as part of the universe working together for every one's highest good.

A second advantage of knowing that everything is just exactly as it should be is that others around me don't have to be manipulated or resisted in any way. They are free ... and that makes for marvelous relationships.

So this week I learn to direct my mind away from seeing negatively.

To start each day this week on the right note, as I awaken I say to myself slowly and meaningfully at least 25 times over the statement of this week's lesson:

"Everything is just exactly as it should be."

During the day I take a mini-break each hour to close my eyes, take a few deep relaxing breaths, and again say to myself this statement for a full 5 minutes:

"Everything is just exactly as it should be."

Finally, at the end of the day I ask my mind to give me memories of any negative emotions which arose during the day and the situations involved. While each such memory is in mind I again say aloud a few times, speaking directly to the memory:

"Everything is just exactly as it should be."

Before falling to sleep, I ask myself, "How does it feel to know that everything is just exactly as it should be?" What is the feeling?

I fall asleep knowing and feeling that all is well.

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 34

2008-05-03T15:12:00.003-06:00

"I fill my life with heart and soul opening partners!"

In an earlier lesson of this course emphasis was made on heart and soul opening partners. At that time I may have fantasized about the possibility of finding the one best heart and soul opening partner for my life.

But in truth being in the presence of any heart and soul opening partner is like being in the presence of an angel. The co-mingling of auras opens my heart and soul greatly, magnifies the light of my spirit, and starts wonderful good fortune flowing my way.

In a sense a heart and soul opening partner is a spiritual opening partner. There is more to spiritual opening than merely opening one's heart and soul, but heart and soul opening are 90% of the spiritual ball game, so to speak.

Looking at the other side of the coin it could be said that anyone who is highly open spiritually, like a great spiritual teacher, or an accomplished meditation master, or someone who has lived with an advanced spiritual teacher could be called a heart and soul opening partner for me.

"Spiritual teachers" in this context does not refer to religious leaders in the usual sense. Occasionally one finds a religious leader who is also highly open spiritually, but this is the rare exception rather than the rule.

Spirituality and religiosity are two separate animals. A non-religionist, even an atheist, can be enlightened spiritually, but it's harder for someone caught up in religion to really be totally enlightened. Jesus set an example by honoring the religions of his time without getting caught up in them ... choosing instead the freedom to follow his own spirituality.

A few very highly advanced spiritual teachers live in the world at any given time, but they are not easy to find. Luckily, a very sincere prayer for a true teacher to come into one's life is always answered.

The grapevine has it that if I'm really, really serious about my spiritual opening and I want to be around an entire community of highly enlightened teachers without leaving the United States, I would want to contact Endeavor Academy in Wisconsin Dells, Wisconsin.

But if I'm not ready to visit Wisconsin, I can still set up my own "community" of friends who are heart and soul opening partners ... people whose energies naturally open me spiritually.

How do I do this?

I ask with all my being for heart and soul opening partners to be drawn into my life as my friends. That will be my practice for this week.

This week I start my day by using the statement of the week's lesson:

"I surround myself with heart and soul opening partners."

Each hour during the day I take 5 minutes to remind myself to try to feel what people feel like, whether they are around me in person, or seen at a distance, or seen in a movie, or talked to over the phone. What do various people feel like to me?

All day long I practice paying attention to people's underlying energies. Feeling this person's presence, what happens inside of me? Do I feel my heart opening even though I am not doing anything to open my heart? Do I feel my soul (solar plexus area) opening although I am doing nothing consciously to open my soul?

Of course people's surface emotions are going to affect me. If people are angry near me, I can feel their anger. If people are joyous near me, I can feel their joy. But this week's exercise goes deeper than feeling surface emotions. What are the person's basic underlying energies?

I want to become extremely sensitive to whose energies are automatically opening my heart and soul. These are the people I especially want to cultivate as friends.

Before retiring for the day I allow myself a full 20 minutes for meditation. If there is a particular person who opens my heart and soul tremendously, I feel this person's presence as if this person were right with me during meditation.

To help me feel this person's presence, I might say aloud a few times as if I were talking to the person:

"(Person's name), I can feel you right here with me opening my heart and soul as never before."

Before falling asleep I rejoice that my heart and soul are opening and say to myself:

"Yes! My heart is open! My soul is open! I'm flying!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 35

2008-05-02T14:24:00.003-06:00

"I expect miracles and they happen all around me!"

An old bumper sticker which can still occasionally be seen on cars says to viewers: "Expect a miracle!" The idea being conveyed with such a message is that miracles do happen and in fact happen often enough that they can be expected.

The unspoken message is that the mind is creative and what is held in mind as an expectation usually comes true.

This is a course in relationship miracles and the early lessons of this course basically told me that miracles in relationships do happen and can be expected. My mind has been made ready and I've already seen some positive results.

Now it's time to go further. What if I really, really, really expected miracles all the time in my relationships? What if I found myself saying with respect to every temptation to see a relationship problem something like: "There will be a miracle here and it's just around the corner!"

A "miracle" can be defined as any change of mind that brings peace, love, joy and the feeling that "all is well" as opposed to a feeling of discord and conflict.

A miracle can be seen in its outer effects ... the whole situation is changed for the better. But the miracle starts in mind, doesn't it?

Whose mind has to change for the miracle to occur? Actually any mind can bring about a miracle. So why not my mind?

This week I train my mind to expect miracles as natural and inevitable. Training my mind to be open to miracles, my mind will literally be facilitating the miracles.

As I awaken each day this week, I allow myself a meditation period during which I let my mind show me pictures of possible relationship problems. With each such picture I say aloud a number of times (until the picture begins to clear up) the statement of this week's lesson:

"I expect miracles and they happen all around me!"

Merely expecting a miracle in a given situation will set forces into motion to produce the miracle. For one thing, my own mind will be changed. Previously I might have feared the worst, now I will be looking forward to the best.

During the day I am determined to notice relationship problems or budding relationship problems, but I do not dwell on them. Instead I merely say inside my mind about each:

"This will work out because I expect miracles and miracles happen all around me!"

Before retiring for the day I ask myself if I have seen any miracles during the day. Have I seen any changes in attitude among people? Have I seen any relationship healing? Have I seen any changes in myself?

Before falling to sleep I rejoice that miracles really are happening all around me.

I might say to myself something like:

"Hey, working miracles is fun!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 36

2008-05-01T14:44:00.004-06:00

"I practice feeling the spirit of others!"
Some of the previous lessons of this course have mentioned "feeling the presence" of a person who is not physically with me. In other words, I have learned in some cases when a person is not around to feel the person's spirit.

What happens if the person is physically with me and I feel the person's spirit anyway?

We do this all the time with heart and soul opening partners, don't we? The energies of a heart and soul opening partner feel so familiar to us and so comfortable to us that without thinking we automatically begin feeling the heart and soul opening partner's spirit.

With others whose energies are not so automatically pleasant to us, we can still with some slight additional focus feel the other's spirit.

For example, let's suppose a man is slightly angry with me. My ego's normal reaction would be to close myself down in order to not feel the energy of his anger. But by closing myself down, I end up not feeling the positive aspects of his spirit either.

What if I consciously said to my mind, "Instead of closing down, I'm going to feel his spirit totally," and I began to focus on feeling his spirit?

Since I experience whatever I set my mind to experience, I would soon begin to feel his spirit, anger and all, wouldn't I? But the key word here is "all". His anger is very, very small compared to the fullness of his spirit, isn't it?

When I feel all of the man's spirit, what happens to his anger?

You guessed it. His anger begins to dissipate. The much larger part of his spirit, the part that dissipates his anger energy, is now being brought into his feeling awareness by virtue of my feeling it. In fact, this is technically known as a "miracle." He was angry. Now he is unable to hold onto his anger.

Other examples?

Maybe my ego would tell me about someone, "She is totally full of fear. Don't go near her." Yet by feeling her spirit in its fullness, her fear begins to turn into trust and confidence.

Perhaps my ego would have me shun feeling a man's pain. But when I allow myself to feel his spirit his pain is soon replaced by peace and serenity.

Although my ego might cringe at the idea of feeling a distraught man's death wish, by feeling the fullness of his true spirit his death wish becomes a wish for life.

When a wish for death becomes a desire for life ... that's a miracle.

So this week I make myself a miracle worker in yet another respect. I train myself to feel the spirit of other people in all kinds of situations.

As I awaken each day this week, I thank my lucky stars that I am a miracle worker and I repeat a few times aloud a statement of this week's lesson:

"All during the day today I practice feeling the spirit of others in all situations."

Each hour of the day I take a 5 minute break to review my progress. During the hour just ended, did I take the time to feel the spiritual presence of those around me? In cases where I felt the presence of others, what were the results? Did people seem closer and more connected to me? Did I see any miracles occur, any changes of attitude or circumstances?

During these 5 minute review periods I take a moment to re-dedicate myself to my practice for the coming hour. I might say in my mind a few times a statement like:

"During this coming hour I REALLY feel the spirit of others in all cases."

At the end of the day I prepare myself for sleep by taking 20 full minutes for meditation. During this meditation I don't attempt to feel anyone in particular, but allow myself to feel the spirit of the whole world. If I'm going to be a miracle worker, I might as well bring healing to the whole world, right?

Before falling asleep I feel grateful towards myself. If I'm healing others with my meditations and my miracles, I am healing myself also ... and such a healing is worthy of gratitude.

I might even say to myself a few times before falling to sleep:

"If I feel the spirit of others TOTALLY ... I'm in bliss!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 37

2008-04-30T11:12:00.003-06:00

"Relationships are not what they seem to be!"
Earlier lessons of this course emphasized that if a relationship is dedicated to a higher purpose than merely ego-vested interests, there is much less likelihood of difficult problems arising in the relationship.

The next step is to begin to see that in reality every relationship is serving a much broader purpose than meets the eye. This new way of seeing will bring a perspective that will make potential relationship problems seem like ant hills instead of seeming like mountains.

I need only remember the analogy about the giant iceberg of which I can see only the tiny tip. As with icebergs so with relationships. So much more is going on in relationships than meets the eye!

When seeing through the limited viewpoint of a human being, we know very little about what our soul is really doing. Some say the soul is creating lessons for itself constantly. Others say there is no need for lessons because our spirit already knows everything, and what is really happening is our spirit is using every situation to open us up out of the closed-down soul level.

Both these groups would say there are no accidents. I meet a person because it is designed for me to meet that person. Everyone who is in my life is in my life because some invisible-level plan is being worked out. A chance encounter may be full of cosmic significance.

My training this week is to see relationships in this whole new way. What seems to be going on is orders of magnitude different than what is really going on.

Each day this week upon awakening, I remind myself of the week's lesson by saying aloud to myself for perhaps 5 whole minutes a statement such as:

"Today I keep in mind that relationships are not what they seem to be."

As I go through my day if I feel even the slightest relationship glitch with someone, I say to myself a few times over:

"This situation is not what it seems. This relationship is working on invisible levels producing good I am not able to see."

Occasionally I can even say this to myself with respect to relationships where there are no apparent glitches and even when seeing people who I don't know at a distance. If I happen to begin seeing the world as a movie which is showing me what I need to be shown when I need to be shown it, so much the better.

At the end of each day this week I give myself the treat of using my imagination during a longer meditation. I pick someone who I have some sort of relationship with and let my imagination run wild for awhile dreaming up far-fetched but not impossible scenarios which explain why this person is really in my life.

Before falling to sleep I say to myself one more time for the day:

"I'm really, really glad that every relationship is serving a much greater purpose than I can imagine!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 38

2008-04-29T12:32:00.004-06:00

"I do not jump eagerly into
solving new relationship problems!"
The statement of this week's lesson might sound backwards to many people's way of thinking, especially psychologists. But often seeming problems are not what they seem. Problems I think I see in relationships many times are not really problems at all.

Sometimes I have soaked up other's energy that is not mine and my relationship partner is reacting not to the real me but to the alien energy I have soaked up. The same could work in reverse.

Other times it is not a person's energy that has been soaked up by one of us but the energy of a place. Places where the energy is chaotic, or full of sadness, or full of anger have their effects on us, but the negative energy is not who we really are and eventually dissipates.

Most of us are also sensitive to "energies in the atmosphere," so to speak ... the barometric pressure, the temperature, the pollen count, the position of the moon or other planets in the sky ... temporary conditions.

For example, a relationship partner could literally be reacting not to me, but to the fact that several planets are in Pisces all at the same time causing weird reactions in just about every sensitive person. These kinds of very temporary conditions which cause people to go through short-lived abnormalities might be called "energy spikes."

All these energy spike influences are changeable and changing. Tomorrow or the next day or the next week my energies or the energies of my relationship partner will be back to "normal." April Fool! The possible problem I might have feared turned out to be not a problem after all.

So I need to train myself to not "jump for the gun" by trying to right away handle things that do not need handling. The best way to do this is to thoroughly train my mind to believe the truth implied in this week's lesson:

"Not all seeming relationship problems need solving."

Actually, if I went around trying to solve every seeming relationship problem that appeared on the horizon, I would be creating more problems than could be solved. In the first place the attention of my mind is creative ... if I focus on seeming problems the energy of my focus "hardens" the form, making it seem more real than before.

Secondly, by trying to solve something that really doesn't need solving, I thereby create a different kind of relationship problem by my resistance to that which didn't need fixing. In other words, my resistance to the situation invites resistance to me.

My happiness in relationship is greatly enhanced if I do not try to solve every seeming relationship problem that comes along. There is actually a force in the universe already working for every one's highest good and I need only stay out of the way and let it work in it's own way.

So this week I'm going to train my mind to trust that many difficulties will dissipate quicker and easier without my worrying or trying to solve anything.

Each day upon awakening I will remind myself of the week's lesson. I might say to myself aloud a number of times a statement such as:

"Problems may not be problems after all, so I hold my peace ... and wait and see what happens."

During the day I meet each seeming new relationship problem which arises with a re-statement of this week's lesson such as:

"I'm not going to worry about this because there's a good chance it will pass without me doing anything."

"This may be an energy spike, not a real problem. So I'll wait and see what happens."

"This may not be the end of the world. It might only be a very quick cleansing, or quick adjustment."

Using these kinds of statements I am not "burying my head in the sand" and I am not "in denial." I am simply being logical. There is no reason to attempt to fix something that may not really be broken.

At the end of each day if there are seeming problems still outstanding I remind myself of an old spiritual statement that is truer than I might have previously noticed. I tell myself a few times until I begin to feel better:

"This too will pass!"

As always, if there are no problems outstanding, I "count my blessings" and feel gratitude.

Before falling to sleep I feel double gratitude and more, knowing that I don't have to solve everything that comes along. I might say to myself a few times:

"What a relief! I don't have to solve everything!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 39

2008-04-28T14:47:00.005-06:00

"It's okay with me if my relationship does not last forever!"
It's important to realize that it's not the end of the world if a relationship ends or can't find its way to a new beginning. Ultimately there is only one mind and one being, so true separation cannot really occur. But no law of nature decrees that relationships have to last forever.

Let's suppose I unknowingly got myself into a relationship for the subconscious purpose of boosting myself five steps up the enlightenment ladder and the time came when those five steps were climbed. In such a case, any attempt on my part to hold onto the relationship might be detrimental to my overall progress.

Of course relationships are always formed in the first place at least partially for ego-vested interests. While my spirit is using the relationship for joy and growth, my ego is using it to some degree for pain and setback.

What if the ego gains ascendancy? What if the pain and setback gets so serious that there is little hope regaining the joy and growth? In such a case, my spirit may call for the end of the relationship, true or false?

So relationships may end for either of two reasons:

(1) The real goal of the relationship has been accomplished and the relationship now serves far less important a spiritual purpose than before.

(2) The real goal of the relationship has been effectively sabotaged so that the relationship can no longer serve a strong spiritual purpose at all.

Would I in my human level thinking be able to figure out whether either of these reasons has been triggered? How could I? I only see the tiniest tip of the iceberg. My only logical choice is to listen carefully inside to the guidance of my spirit.

If my spirit tells me a relationship is at or near an end, the chances are the separation is not going to be extremely painful. If I allow my ego to enter into the equation there will be pain ... but my spirit will still work to effectively heal such pain.

At any rate, the goal of my lesson this week is to train my mind to achieve a certain degree of detachment in all my important relationships.

Upon awakening each day I ask my subconscious mind to bring to my awareness an important relationship in which a little more detachment on my part would be a good idea.

With each such relationship that comes to mind I say aloud to myself as many times as it takes to feel a shift inside myself:

"This relationship might not be meant to last forever ... and that's okay with me."

During the day I take 5 minutes each hour if at all possible to take a few deep breaths and re-establish contact with my inner spiritual detachment. I ask myself with respect to several specific relationships:

"How does it FEEL to be okay with (name specific) relationship changing or ending?"

At the end of the day, I review some of the relationships that I believe are really important to me. I ask my inner voice or inner vision to give me a number from one to a hundred representing my percentage of detachment. Each day this week my percentage of detachment should be increasing.

Before retiring and going to sleep I say one last time for the day:

"If a relationship is meant to end, so be it! It's ending will open the way for even greater good to come!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 40

2008-04-27T10:56:00.005-06:00

"The only tightrope I walk is the peace line!"
I've often heard people making comments like, "Whew! I really have to walk a tightrope in this situation!" Most often the tightrope they are walking is a relationship tightrope. If they lose their balance to the left or right the relationship takes a tumble, like Jack and Jill, down hill.

Relationship tightrope walking is very painful. There is constant fear present. "If I slip up, this whole arrangement is going to fall apart." "If I say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing, I'll be taking a dive from joy down into suffering."

What rational person would choose tightrope walking?

But wait! What if there was a place of perfect balance called the "peace line" and I could learn to stay balanced on this peace line all day long no matter what is happening?

In a way the peace line could be said to be somewhere midway between being thrilled and being down in the dumps, between feeling excited and feeling lost. In fact many people whip past the peace line so fast they don't even recognize it as their lives wildly fling back and forth between short-lived excitement and gnawing absence of fulfillment.

Most people seek to escape the feeling of emptiness by running after excitement. A person who stays on the peace line never feels emptiness and has no reason to crave excitement. Instead of walking jittery swinging tightropes that ruin relationships, walking the peace line keeps my relationships in balance because it keeps me in balance.

This week I vow to walk no other tightrope but the peace line in relationships. Upon awakening each day I take some time to search for the exquisite feeling of peace that can be found inside myself when I ask with dedication.

I feel inside myself what it feels like to really be at peace and I vow to hold onto the feeling of peace all during the coming day no matter what. Along with my vow I visualize myself staying on the peace line in all kinds of situations that might come to mind.

Each hour during the day I monitor my progress to be sure I am staying on the peace line. Again, what does it feel like to be at peace? If I notice I have fallen off this "peace-balance", I do whatever it takes to regain my peace and rededicate myself for the next hour.

At the end of the day before retiring I ask myself this one question:

"What if I could feel peace all the time ... every moment?"

Before falling to sleep I rejoice in my peace and say one last time for the day:

"No tightropes for me! Just the line of peace!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 41

2008-04-26T12:26:00.004-06:00

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 42

2008-04-25T13:10:00.004-06:00

"I stay grounded and my relationships stay high!"

There is nothing quite like being in relationship with an ungrounded person. It's like being in relationship with the person in the moon. Now you see your partner ... now you don't. Now you can count on your partner ... now you can't. Now you understand your partner ... now you are mystified.

"Grounding" means more in this context than "being practical." A person can be for the most part very practical and yet ungrounded, although being ungrounded does tend to push one over the cliff sometimes into impractical words and actions.

In relationship context "grounding" means being willing to live in all one's energy centers as contrasted with living in one or two head and shoulder centers.

We all know what we mean when we refer to someone as "flighty" or "spaced out." Some of us can even almost see the energy of "flighty." For example, if a psychic were to look at a flighty person's aura there would be an overabundance of energy in the head and shoulders area and a distinct lacking of energy down around the feet. The person's aura would look top heavy, as if it would take only the touch of a finger to topple the person over.

Being ungrounded means having an energy vacuum in the lower reaches of one's aura. Since nature abhors a vacuum, when one is ungrounded one's lower energy spaces quickly fill up with energies (often negative) from outside oneself. If I find myself filling up with negative energies there is a good chance that subconsciously I'm letting myself do this in order to ground myself the hard way. It's every bit as effective as stubbing my toe, dropping mustard on my coat, or sticking my foot in my mouth.

In fact, it can almost be stated as a principle:

"If I'm ungrounded, I'm asking for trouble ... because trouble brings me back to earth very quickly."

This week my task is to learn to become grounded and stay grounded in a safe, effective way to the best of my ability.

Each day this week upon awakening I allow myself at least 10 minutes of meditation time during which I visualize a pillar of the strongest possible marble permanently attached to the base of my spine and pulling me down to the center of the earth, where it is also permanently attached.

I try to feel this pillar pulling me to the earth and holding me solidly. The meditation works better if I am sitting or standing because then I can also feel the earth pulling on my feet like a magnet.

This exercise is not so far-fetched because in a way the earth really is a magnet and in fact gravity does try to hold us to the earth. By visualizing myself being grounded, I'm just more consciously helping along a process that is happening anyway.

During the day I try to feel my feet connected to the earth when walking or sitting, as if attached by Velcro. Every hour I monitor myself to see if I've been holding my grounding. If I've lost my grounding, I visualize the pillar again and say aloud to myself about 20 times:

"I am deeply, deeply grounded and I do not pull my grounding up from the center of the earth!"

At the end of each day this week, I again take a meditation break, this time to review my progress. How did it feel when I stayed grounded during the day? How did it feel when I became ungrounded? If I had an accident of some sort during the day or a relationship blunder, was I ungrounded during the time leading into the accident or blunder?

Finally, before going to sleep for the day I might say to myself one more time the statement of this week's lesson:

"I love staying grounded! It keeps my relationships high!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 43

2008-04-24T14:08:00.004-06:00

"I see my relationship partner now ... with no past!"
Literally speaking, there is no past. Now ... is the only time there is. Now ... is when things happen. Now ... is the only time I can experience.

In my mind I can imagine a past, but such imaging is happening now, isn't it? The now moment is still now and what seemed like the past is no longer present.

In other words, every moment is now and the past can only exist in my imagination. This is crucial to understand because I do not have to let the so-called "past" effect the way I am seeing my relationship partner now.

There is a world of difference between seeing a person with all of my past judgments present and seeing a person as that person is right now. The two ways of seeing show me two different worlds entirely.

In fact, I literally cannot see my relationship partner if I'm looking through the window of my past judgments. All I could see in that case is an illusion of my relationship partner, an illusion that doesn't really exist.

Would I want to go through my relationship reacting to an illusion? Or would it be preferable to be with the here and now reality?

I may not be able to answer that question intellectually. I might actually need to experience the difference and let my experience give me my sure answer. That is what I hope to accomplish this week.

This week upon awakening I allow myself a full 20 minutes meditation during which I visualize myself coming into contact with various people during the day, seeing them brand new and fresh, as if I had never known them in the past.

With each visualization I say aloud a few times, "I see you as you are right now ... as if I have no past knowledge of you."

During the day, I practice seeing this way whenever possible. Maybe while in a supermarket checkout line, or while paying for gas for my car, or while talking to a receptionist, I think to myself something like:

"How would this person look to me if had no past learning with which to make any judgments?"

The idea is to keep practicing seeing people fresh and new, as if I myself knew nothing. Once I've had enough practice at this, I can easily transfer this practice to any relationship partner. Seeing a relationship partner as if I've never seen this person before will keep relationship problems from even getting started.

Before retiring each day this week I again give myself the pleasure of a meditation period during which I review my progress. When I remembered to see people in the now moment without interference from the past, how did it feel? How did people respond? What good came about?

Before falling to sleep I compliment myself on my new way of seeing people and say to myself one last time for the day:

"Wow! I'm seeing a different world altogether!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 44

2008-04-23T14:28:00.004-06:00

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 45

2008-04-22T10:01:00.004-06:00

"There is nothing which cannot be forgiven!"
Holding grievances certainly has to be the most pain-producing, health-destroying, relationship-dissolving practice humans have invented. Innumerable wars, murders, destructive vendettas, courtroom fights, and relationship breakdowns have resulted from holding grievances.

Lives are ruined by holding grievances.

When grievances are held in mind, no one gains. Even if the person holding a grievance manages to feel temporary satisfaction when a comeuppance takes place, the damage from holding the grievance far outweighs the temporary satisfaction.

Grievances are killers.

Letting go of grievances is potentially the most natural mind action possible. We are born without grievances. We die without grievances. We become enlightened without grievances. Being free of grievances is totally natural.

Yet as natural as it may be to hold no grievances, it may not be easy to let go of a particular grievance in an emotionally charged situation. Letting go may take a very firm decision. Nonetheless since being without grievances is my natural state, when I do decide to let go of a grievance I have all the strength in the universe working to that end.

A powerful key for my success in relationship is the firm decision to let go of any and all grievances quickly ... as quickly as I might notice them in my mind. This is known as "forgiveness," and there is nothing impossible to forgive because letting go is merely a choice.

This week I train my mind to let go of any and all grievances.

Upon awakening each day I devote a minimum 20 minute meditation period to scanning my mind for grievances. The first one or two may not require much searching because any powerfully present grievances will be fed to me automatically by my subconscious mind.

With each grievance that comes to mind I will decree the following statement as many times as it takes or as long as it takes for the grievance to substantially weaken or disappear:

"Holding this grievance is not my natural state. There is nothing that cannot be forgiven, so this too I release."

The idea is to say this aloud over and over until I feel forgiveness happening. The sound vibration created by the "chanting" cleans out negative energy and I then more easily get in-touch with my spirit deep inside which releases and forgives automatically.

During the day I take a few minutes each hour to monitor my progress. Did I release any grievances during the last hour? If so, how did it feel to release? What were the results? Did I catch myself holding onto any grievances during the last hour? If so, I rededicate myself by using the statement:

"Holding this grievance is not my natural state. There is nothing that cannot be forgiven, so this too I release."

At the end of the day I give some final daily thought to forgiveness.

People who have had near-death experiences almost always report something like: "When I knew I was dying, all the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. Nothing on earth mattered any longer. Absolutely total forgiveness was automatic."

What if I could train my ego, the part of me which likes to hold grievances, to "die" every moment in the sense of "expand into light" every moment? What if I could make that choice?

Before sleeping I say one last time for the day a statement reflecting this week's lesson, such as:

"My relationships are safe because there is nothing which cannot be forgiven."

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 46

2008-04-21T15:35:00.004-06:00

"Nothing can upset me if I am seeing clearly!"
There is a course in miracles which teaches that we are never upset for the reason we think, but rather because we are seeing something that is not there. In other words, our perception gives rise to our upsets, but our perception is never clear, always distorted by past learning.

More specifically, this particular course in miracles teaches that our thoughts (including subconscious thoughts) determine everything we see, that the world literally rearranges itself to show us what we expect to see ... something like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Whether I would go that far or not, I have to agree that my state of mind based on past learning affects my seeing. So the question is: what if there was a way to see clearly without distortion?

That's a little like asking: "What if I could live in heaven while still on earth?"

An impossible goal? As impossible as it might seem, enlightened spiritual teachers tell us that clear seeing is not only possible but inevitable. Because seeing with the distortion of past learning is not our natural state and our natural state is always craving to be reestablished.

This week I take a giant step toward eliminating upsets in my life by training my mind to always see things differently than I might at first be tempted to see things.

An old spiritual teaching story tells of a man who always saw things differently than his neighbors. When apparently disastrous things were happening and his neighbors were sad and anguished, his attitude could almost be heard saying: "Yes, but if not for this ... sprouts of future good would not be germinating." When apparently wonderful things were happening and his neighbors were rejoicing with excitement, his calm attitude would seem to say: "Yes, but if not for this ... seeds of future trouble would not be planted."

The man in this story did not get upset because he knew there are always an infinite number of energies working invisibly. He kept in mind that situations we are tempted to call "good" always contain the seeds of what we would be tempted to call "bad," and vice versa. He remembered constantly that things are never what they appear to be.

What state of mind would have me reacting to situations with no upset at all, maybe even clearer than the man in the spiritual story?

I would have to have know that whatever is happening, it cannot hurt who I really am or reach to where I really live. After all, I am a spiritual being.

My goal this week is to train my mind to think not as my human nature thinks but as my spiritual nature thinks. To this end I start each day this week by decreeing for a minimum of 15 minutes:

"Nothing affects who I REALLY am and where I REALLY live, so no upset gains a foothold in my mind."

If I have time to decree this for more than 15 minutes each morning, so much the better. I want to say this so many times that it becomes "etched into" the nervous pathways of my brain.

During the day this week I use this statement like a mantra, saying it in my mind while I'm driving, while I'm showering, while I'm gardening ... every moment when I don't need the full attention of my mind to focus on other things.

"Nothing affects who I REALLY am and where I REALLY live, so no upset gains a foothold in my mind."

At the end of the day I review my progress. Were there times when I was tempted to be upset, but I remembered who I really am? How did that feel and what were the results?

I let my subconscious mind give me a number from 1 to 100 representing the percentage of how far I still have to go to become clear in my seeing. I dedicate myself to decreeing this statement for the same number of minutes the next morning. If I'm still 30% unclear, I decree the next day for 30 minutes. If I'm still 20% unclear, I decree the next day for 20 minutes.

Before falling to sleep I say to myself one last statement for the day, reaching deep inside to where I really mean it:

"I'm glad I'm choosing to see clearly! For me upset is set down!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 47

2008-04-20T15:56:00.003-06:00

"My superb health keeps my relationships vital!"
Occasionally this course has referred to adverse health effects resulting from certain kinds of thinking or attitudes. Health benefits from learning to think differently have been mentioned.

Now it's time to thoroughly recognize that relationships are a million times smoother for healthy people than for people who are suffering health disorders. Healthy people live more fully, enjoy life more, and uplift those around them with their positive vibrations. Unhealthy people are a sometimes a drag to be around and often pull their relationships into the dumps.

Since the goal of this course and my goal is healthy, vibrant relationships, it makes sense for me to dedicate myself to the highest level of health possible.

In addition to the many, many health benefits that accrue from spiritual living there are four physical factors that keep me in safe health:

SAFE = Sunlight, Air, Food, Exercise.
Am I getting enough sunlight, fresh air, exercise? Outdoor sports, hiking, or even long vigorous walks in a city which doesn't have too much smog serves my health tremendously. Muscle stretching exercises like those in hatha yoga keep all body cells energized.

If I haven't yet researched the benefits of natural foods, vegetarian diet (no meat), or vegan diet (no meat or dairy), I vow to visit a library or natural food store this week and begin reading on these subjects. This is my week for really getting my health program going in the right direction.

Of course nothing moves my health in the right direction more than simply decreeing and visualizing myself in perfect health. So this week each day upon awakening, I will devote my 15 minute decree session to using this statement:

"I am young and strong and healthy in every way. My body, mind, and being are perfectly functioning!"

I say this aloud over and over, ignoring any ailments I might be aware of and allowing myself to believe in my health as much as possible. Any suggestions for better health which come to mind during my decreeing session, I determine to follow through on.

Since I really am trying to make this a self-fulfilling prophecy, I stay alert all day during the day for signs and signals from the universe. I will literally be shown what I need to do to improve my health to a level of perpetual perfection.

If during the day I am reminded that I haven't been thinking about my decree, I get back into it with another 5 minutes of decreeing:

"I am young and strong and healthy in every way. My body, mind, and being are perfectly functioning!"

At the end of the day I spend 10 or 15 minutes meditating, listening within to any health advice my inner voice may have for me at this time. Maybe I'll be told, "Don't eat so much cooked food," or "You don't need to use alcohol (or tobacco, or coffee) and it's not good for you." I make a conscious dedication to following instructions as heard inside.

Before falling to sleep I say to myself a statement of gratitude and joy such as:

"Yes, by my life and my love of it, I really enjoy how healthy I am!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 48

2008-04-19T16:23:00.004-06:00

"My relationship is served by enlightened self-interest!"
In these modern days we hear much talk about "enlightened self-interest." Yet few understand what enlightened self-interest really is and how it serves relationships. These are understandings I want to gain.

Whose interest do people believe I can act in?

One alternative which does not serve relationships is attempting to sacrifice myself or my values for the good of others, known as "altruism." In the first place, altruism is impossible because we are all in this together. What is truly good for one is good for all. What is truly good for all is good for one. I literally cannot sacrifice myself or my true interests without hurting everyone.

Another alternative which does not serve relationships is pursuing my ego-vested interests, or the ego-vested interests of any number of people. As this course has repeatedly pointed out, the ego's interests are ultimately sickness, suffering, pain, and death.

That leaves the final alternative: non-ego or enlightened self-interest.

Those who feel drawn to expanding awareness of their spirit (with less and less intellectualizing) would say one's real or spiritual Self (with a capital "S") is already enlightened and has an interest in mind that is not related to the ego-vested interests of one's earthly persona.

Those who feel drawn to intellectualizing might use the term "rational self-interest" and would probably say something like: "Yes, I want to be in-touch with my spirit, but I also want to stay rigidly loyal to science and reason."

These are differences in viewpoint, but not in substance. Whether one considers oneself to be "spiritual" or "rational" or somewhere in between, the recognition that one's own non-ego self-interest is indeed also everyone else's best interest (the highest good for everyone) is of key importance.

Using the magnifying power of a fictional story to clearly define and highlight the end result of enlightened people acting in their own self-interest vs. the end result of unenlightened people acting on altruistic or ego interests, Ayn Rand in her novel "Atlas Shrugged" illustrates this week's lesson with uncanny clarity.

Since this lesson is not taught anywhere else in our culture, Ayn Rand greatly serves mankind much as a great inventor or innovator. Her work offers a fundamental breakthrough in learning possibilities. "Atlas Shrugged" is must reading.

My primary assignment to myself this week is to obtain a copy of "Atlas Shrugged" and devote a minimum of 20 minutes a day diving into the story. I can get "Atlas Shrugged" in almost any library and it does not matter if I have previously read the novel. If I can devote additional time to reading "Atlas Shrugged" each day, so much the better.

As I read the story, I want to keep in mind the three alternatives mentioned above and ask myself which of the characters seems to be talking about living for others, which seems to be living for his or her own ego, and which seems to be living from his or her spirit.

My only other assignment this week is to stay bright and happy even though the world I will be reading about in "Atlas Shrugged" is becoming progressively a darker and more unhappy place. My job is to keep in mind that I'm reading fiction. If some events in the novel seem very close in principle to events in modern life, I can stay optimistic and in a spiritual frame of mind by asking myself: "What if everything around me is fiction anyway?"

With this course I am learning to stay bright and happy NO MATTER WHAT. So this week's work will be good practice. I can even go back in this course and find some lesson statements to decree as review and to keep my energy clean.

Before going to sleep at the end of each day I close my eyes and allow myself to feel delicious gratitude as I say to myself a few times:

"I love my life and do not sacrifice myself to others or to my ego. My own enlightened self-interest guides me."

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 49

2008-04-18T11:02:00.001-06:00

"My relationships are out of this world
when I am serving others!"
This course has emphasized that altruism does not work. Any attempt to sacrifice myself sacrifices every one's happiness. When one person is hurt everyone is hurt because we are all in this together. Only by pursuing my own enlightened self-interest do I enhance every one's best interest.

In like manner, since we are all in this together, by finding ways to serve others I serve myself greatly. Even while my ego would counsel me to separation and damaging forms of selfishness, my spirit always counsels me to serve others and provides guidance as to what does and does not serve every one's highest happiness.

Service doesn't have to look like what the world thinks of as service. I've learned in this course that the world's way of looking at things is more often than not 180 degrees backwards. For example, A little old lady radiating total peace while rocking in her rocking chair on her front porch in Wisconsin is bringing infinitely more peace to everyone in the world than antiwar protesters at war with their counterparts in the Pentagon.

My heart and soul will guide me perfectly. Yes, I might be guided to serve meals at a homeless shelter or volunteer in some way the world would think of as service. On the other hand, I might be guided to sit in meditation in the mountains. I might be guided to seclude myself and work on my new invention. I might be guided to urge everyone in the world to read "Atlas Shrugged." There is no way for me to intellectually figure out how I can best serve. I just have to listen inside and hear what is right for me.

The truth is when I am following the instruction of my inner spiritual guidance, my heart and soul, I am serving everyone. But even with great loyalty to spiritual guidance I don't always see how I am serving. Could Thomas Edison even begin to imagine giant cities aglow 100 years into the future when he invented the incandescent light bulb? Could the inventor of the alphabet have imagined...?

My goal this week is to dedicate myself as never before to being in the service and to feel how it "lights me up" to know I am serving.

Upon awakening each day this week I will use a decree which reminds even the depths of my ego mind why I am really on earth:

"I live for no other reason than to serve the light."

I will say this aloud over and over for a full 10 minute period and at the end of the period I will follow with a sincere asking:

"Today let me be shown how I can best serve."

This asking prepares my mind to be alert for service possibilities that may present themselves to me during the day.

Throughout the day I constantly remind myself that by following the spiritual guidance of my heart and soul I am indeed serving others as well as myself ... and serving greatly. I ask myself many times during the day:

"How do I FEEL knowing I am serving?"

Also during the day I pay attention to how my service attitude is affecting those around me in all relationships from seemingly chance encounters to deep involvements.

At the end of each day, I review my progress. On a scale of zero to 100, what percentage of my day was truly in service? I let my subconscious mind give me a percentage. Does my "service percentage" satisfy me? Would I feel even better if my service was greater? What would happen to my relationships if I was really, REALLY, REALLY serving everyone ... maybe 100 percent?

Before falling asleep I feel grateful that I can be of service and say one last time for the day with great joy:

"My relationships are out of this world when I am serving others."

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 50

2008-04-17T11:40:00.000-06:00

"My relationships are enhanced by spiritual teachers and spiritual books!"
Wouldn't it be funny if reading "Atlas Shrugged" was like taking some kind of course in miracles? Sometimes reading a powerful fictional work can cause a major shift in mind and perhaps a major shift in mind could be called a miracle ... especially if it lifted a person out of darkness into light.

In the ancient Sanskrit language, "gu" (darkness) and "ru" (light) are combined to form "guru" (one who takes me from darkness into light). Certainly living in the presence of a true guru is beneficial to myself and all my relationships ... and I want to very much feel the presence of my guru. I can only imagine how it must have felt to know Jesus of Nazareth personally and live in his physical presence.

There are those who say, "Well, I don't need a special guru because everyone I come into contact with is teaching me all the time, even when I don't see the teaching." That's true, but it shouldn't be used as an excuse for not finding a fully enlightened teacher to help me speed up the process.

This week I make a dedication inside myself to find a teacher who can really take me all the way spiritually.

As with teachers, so with books. If reading "Atlas Shrugged" is like taking some kind of course in miracles, what if there exist even greater spiritual books which could expand my awareness a million times more?

What if I went to the library and said to the librarian, "Do you have any spiritual books that would thoroughly change the way I see everything ... as if I were reading some kind of course in miracles?" Yes, there are a handful of extremely advanced spiritual books around, books that cause great openings spiritually, and most libraries have at least one of them. This week I also dedicate myself to searching for some of the greatest spiritual books.

To make firm my dedication I use my meditation upon awakening this week to say aloud to myself a few times the statement of this week's lesson:

"My relationships are enhanced by spiritual teachers and spiritual books."

While I am decreeing, I visualize myself studying the very best spiritual books available and experiencing a connection with a totally enlightened spiritual teacher who is capable of taking me all the way spiritually. I see my relationships enhanced many times over by rapidly expanding spiritual awareness.

During the day I watch for signs and signals, messages from the universe which might be guiding me to this teacher or that book. If I suspect I'm being guided, I quiet my mind in meditation and then ask inside:

"These are signs guiding me, true or false?"

"These signs are guiding me to ______ (fill in the blank), true or false?"

With practice I will become more and more adroit at recognizing and following spiritual guidance.

Before falling to sleep at the end of each day this week I use my usual meditation period to get in-touch with my spiritual nature and my spiritual guidance. I might even say to myself a statement of thanksgiving something like:

"I really love my spirituality and how it makes relationships easy."

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 51

2008-04-16T12:05:00.005-06:00

"Deep and careful inner hearing solves every problem!"

This course has repeatedly emphasized the value of quieting my mind and listening inside to spiritual (heart and soul) guidance. Some lessons have even given me practice using simple inner hearing techniques. At least one lesson has indicated that just as my success in any endeavor depends on the depth of my desire ... so it is with inner hearing.

If I ask for clear inner hearing with all my heart and soul ... it will certainly develop.

I am nearing the end of this course and at the end of any good spiritual course there should be a lesson that says something like, "Now it's up to you, but your inner voice is going to guide you perfectly in every respect if you will just listen to it." One could say that at the end of the course the student is to some degree breaking new ground independently ... but never alone.

If I trust that inner hearing is always there for me with very specific guidance throughout the day ... the inner voice will be there for me.

This second-to-last lesson of the course reemphasizes that not only does inner hearing enhance every relationship and every aspect of my life, but it is the great rescuer ... pulling me up out of every problem, mess, or disaster I cause myself to get into when I haven't listened inside. There is no problem I can get myself into that inner hearing cannot solve.

Many books about spiritual seekers from all traditions ... New Age, Buddhist, Hindu, Islamic, Jewish, Christian, Native American, every tradition ... have true stories about the miraculous results of following one's inner voice. One excellent source of such true stories is the web site of the Holy Instant Christian Church, a church highly devoted to inner hearing. I can learn much by suspending any judgments I have about Christian language and clicking on the following: Inner Hearing Stories

If I were to be taught one skill which would get me through life as if I were the luckiest angel, so to speak, that one skill would be hearing clearly the voice of my spirit.

Fortunately there are inner hearing teachers on earth ... not very many really good ones, but I need only one. My first priority if I really, really, really want clear inner hearing should be to work personally with one of these teachers, perhaps one of the teachers at the Holy Instant Church mentioned above.

If it's possible to encourage myself any more than I am already encouraged to listen inside and follow the instructions of my inner spirit, let this be the week to cheer myself on.

Each day upon awakening I enthusiastically decree for 10 minutes:

"Today I turn to my inner hearing for the solution of every problem."

My inner voice will always guide me to act with love, since my heart is greatly involved in my guidance. Yet my guidance will also sometimes challenge me to do things I might not enjoy doing, since my soul is guiding me to breakthroughs and to spiritual clarity.

During the day this week each hour I stop everything for 5 minutes, quiet my intellect, and listen to a place inside myself which is telling me to be at peace and guiding me specifically. I make a sincere attempt to hear my inner voice clear as a bell for at least 5 minutes each hour.

At the end of each day I allow myself a longer period, perhaps as long as 20 minutes, to listen inside. I specifically ask myself deep inside about any relationship situations about which I might need greater clarity.

I rejoice when I hear direction inside myself and trust that following such direction always leads to every one's highest good.

Before sleeping I say to myself a few times a statement which reflects this week's lesson:

"Yes, inner hearing solves every problem! How fortunate I am!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 52

2008-04-15T15:09:00.001-06:00

"The end is in sight!"

This week I will have completed all the lessons of this course, but my learning will continue as never before. My inner hearing will teach me lessons I could not learn anywhere else. My relationships will teach me. My spiritual diligence will teach me.

Next week I will listen inside and see if I'm being guided to go back to the beginning of this course and work through the lessons again, or perhaps work the lessons of a related course such as the Course in Political Miracles or even the original A Course in Miracles.

This final week will be a week to review the earlier lessons and to rejoice that I am staying with the course until completion.

For review I will select 5 or 6 lessons each day which seem to be good lessons for reminder. I will spend a minimum of 15 minutes each day in a decreeing session using statements from these lessons and generally reminding myself of the import of each.

In this course I've found something that has been really good for me and really helped me and there is an extremely positive effect in my mind when I "give testimony," so to speak, sharing with others the good news. So I also use this week to intensify the habit of sharing this course with others.

During each day this week I stay especially alert for opportunities to share this course with people who might benefit from greatly enhanced relationships. Maybe I'll give them a copy of the course or send them a link to the website of the course. Maybe I'll just talk to them enthusiastically in order to plant seeds for future sprouting.

At any rate, at the end of each day this week I allow myself to feel gratitude as never before. My relationships have improved vastly. In fact, my whole life has improved vastly. Things may not always feel perfect yet. But when I look back at myself before this course I can see wondrous change.

I give myself a pat on the back as I say one last time for the day:

"I'm absolutely happy....
The end I've always wanted
is in sight!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles