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Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 39

"It's okay with me if my relationship does not last forever!"

It's important to realize that it's not the end of the world if a relationship ends or can't find its way to a new beginning. Ultimately there is only one mind and one being, so true separation cannot really occur. But no law of nature decrees that relationships have to last forever.

Let's suppose I unknowingly got myself into a relationship for the subconscious purpose of boosting myself five steps up the enlightenment ladder and the time came when those five steps were climbed. In such a case, any attempt on my part to hold onto the relationship might be detrimental to my overall progress.

Of course relationships are always formed in the first place at least partially for ego-vested interests. While my spirit is using the relationship for joy and growth, my ego is using it to some degree for pain and setback.

What if the ego gains ascendancy? What if the pain and setback gets so serious that there is little hope regaining the joy and growth? In such a case, my spirit may call for the end of the relationship, true or false?

So relationships may end for either of two reasons:

(1) The real goal of the relationship has been accomplished and the relationship now serves far less important a spiritual purpose than before.

(2) The real goal of the relationship has been effectively sabotaged so that the relationship can no longer serve a strong spiritual purpose at all.

Would I in my human level thinking be able to figure out whether either of these reasons has been triggered? How could I? I only see the tiniest tip of the iceberg. My only logical choice is to listen carefully inside to the guidance of my spirit.

If my spirit tells me a relationship is at or near an end, the chances are the separation is not going to be extremely painful. If I allow my ego to enter into the equation there will be pain ... but my spirit will still work to effectively heal such pain.

At any rate, the goal of my lesson this week is to train my mind to achieve a certain degree of detachment in all my important relationships.

Upon awakening each day I ask my subconscious mind to bring to my awareness an important relationship in which a little more detachment on my part would be a good idea.

With each such relationship that comes to mind I say aloud to myself as many times as it takes to feel a shift inside myself:

"This relationship might not be meant to last forever ... and that's okay with me."

During the day I take 5 minutes each hour if at all possible to take a few deep breaths and re-establish contact with my inner spiritual detachment. I ask myself with respect to several specific relationships:

"How does it FEEL to be okay with (name specific) relationship changing or ending?"

At the end of the day, I review some of the relationships that I believe are really important to me. I ask my inner voice or inner vision to give me a number from one to a hundred representing my percentage of detachment. Each day this week my percentage of detachment should be increasing.

Before retiring and going to sleep I say one last time for the day:

"If a relationship is meant to end, so be it! It's ending will open the way for even greater good to come!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

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