Once I have established my spirituality and my spiritual opening as the foundation of all my relationship success, I can then turn some of my attention toward the more surface level relationship tools knowing that their use is well grounded.
Perhaps no commonly identified relationship tool is more important than willingness to carefully listen.
Some have said that there is no communication on earth because each person hears only what he or she wants to hear.
Others say there is no real communication because people hear only what they can hear based on their limited and distorted perception.
Of what value then is careful listening?
The value of listening is deeper and more profound than one might imagine. Listening is actually like a door opening a crack to possible real communication, which is wordless but exceptionally healing.
How many times have I heard of couples arguing furiously and then later "making up" without actually verbally resolving the issues about which they were arguing in the first place?
Their "making up" was done wordlessly. Perhaps subconsciously they knew that if they got back into words they would get back into disagreement, but by connecting with each other on a wordless level an inner agreement automatically happens.
Careful listening opens the door, even if only a crack, for the agreement that happens when two souls connect with each other. In other words, careful listening involves "listening" to more than just the words, true or false?
That's exactly what happens. Merely the willingness or attempt to carefully listen is like saying to the universe, "I really want to communicate," and I know from earlier lessons in this course that whatever I really want begins to come true as soon as I'm in touch with the desire.
Since everyone has a different perception and different past learning, no one hears another's words in the way they were meant to be heard. But the desire of the willing listener is for true communication, so this desire leads to listening deeper than words even though listening to words is what appears to be going on.
Willingness to listen is actually willingness to spiritually communicate, isn't it? And as I have learned, spiritual communication solves all problems.
My goal with the lesson for this week is to see the value of careful listening by consciously listening more carefully than ever.
Each day this week upon awakening I remind myself of my goal for the week by saying aloud a few times:
"Today I listen to others more carefully than ever!"
"If it's my romantic partner, I listen worshipfully!"
As I'm saying these statements, if pictures come to mind of myself listening carefully in different situations with different people, so much the better.
Each hour during the day I take a few minutes to review my progress of the previous hour. Did I listen carefully in this situation or that situation? In what cases was it easier to listen carefully and in what situations were the other person's words going in my ears without any deeper hearing taking place? Would a deeper dedication on my part improve my listening?
At the end of the day before retiring I spend some time in a somewhat longer period of review. How did it feel to listen carefully enough for a connection to be made with the other person? Did a feeling of rapport or understanding get established? What other positive results did I notice?
Before falling asleep for the day I say to myself a statement of happiness such as:
"Wow! Careful listening is really fun and it really works!"
Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles