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Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 23

"I burn up anger before it burns up my relationship!"

A million and one modern psychologists argue that anger is a healthy emotion and only its form of expression needs to be channeled: "Express your anger, but express it in some positive non-harmful way."

This course teaches that anger is an ego-based emotion (one's spirit does not get angry) and is therefore unhealthy by definition. This course also teaches that there is really no way to express anger that is non-harmful. Any expression of ego is harmful.

What then is to be done with anger?

Ironic as it might sound, anger can be burned up before it does harm.

Anger derives from misperception, as is the case with all ego devices. Being derived from not seeing clearly, anger energy invariably burns up like a wasp flying into a bug-zapper when exposed to seeing things in a different light.

Ninety-nine percent of the time all that is necessary to dissipate anger is to ask sincerely:

"How can I see this situation in a different light?"

The other one percent of the time it's not that seeing in a different light doesn't work. It always works. But one percent of the time the ego's fear of loss is so overwhelming that it is difficult to shift into any other way of seeing things.

In that one percent of cases, it works better for me to seclude myself in an isolated place and give myself permission to feel the anger fully, fully, fully ... as deep as it goes and one hundred percent. I can ask my subconscious mind and inner being for help:

"I really, really, really want to feel this anger fully, one hundred percent!"

I can say such a statement aloud to myself as many times over as it takes for the deepest fury to rise fully to the surface. If it comes out as a scream, or a furious yelling, so much the better. But when it's out, when I've felt it fully, then I will automatically start seeing things in a different light altogether ... automatically because my spirit wanted me to see things in a different light all along and only my anger was blocking my seeing things in the way my spirit desired me to see.

In all cases, the ninety-nine percent and the one percent, I burn up my anger quickly ... before it burns me up, and before I ever spew such negative energy onto another person.

How good can relationships be if anger doesn't get a chance to reproduce its virus inside me or spread its contagious effects? I can't even imagine, can I?

So my goal this week is to work on releasing anger before it ever has a chance to grow inside me and become destructive. I do this either by consciously switching quickly to a different way of seeing things or by allowing myself to thoroughly feel my anger in private and letting my subconscious mind do the work of giving me a new way of seeing.

Each day this week upon awakening I give myself the pleasure of working in my mind, preparing myself for the day. I ask my subconscious mind to give me pictures of situations that could conceivably arise during the day in which I might be tempted to feel anger. With each such picture, I visualize myself recognizing the anger, stopping, and asking myself:

"How can I see (name situation) in a totally different light?"

My subconscious mind will feed me a different way of seeing each of these situations, and I allow myself to feel what it feels like to have a new way of seeing things.

Throughout the day I monitor my feelings, determined to catch myself any moment that anger begins to be felt inside. Every time I catch myself with even the slightest anger, I stop and ask myself:

"How can I see (name situation) in a totally different light?"

I especially pay attention to the times when I find myself in resistance to seeing things differently, those times when my ego is "throwing a fit", so to speak, and saying, "I don't want to see things differently!"

Those are the times when I force myself to find a secluded place and "get my anger out" not by lashing it out, but by allowing myself to feel the anger to its full extent.

At the end of each day I feel at peace inside, not holding any anger whatsoever. I celebrate my own good luck by sending blessings to those who are not so fortunate, those who have allowed anger to rule their lives and poison their relationships.

One last time before sleep, I gratefully say to myself:

"Now that anger doesn't burn up my relationships, my relationships are burning a path to heaven!"

Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles

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