Course in Relationship Miracles: Lesson 17
"Self-honesty brings me what I really, really want!"
With this week's lesson, I wish to examine the concept of self-honesty. It may very well help me to better understand what self-honesty is if I look for a moment at what it is not.
Always telling the literal truth to others is not the definition of self-honesty.
For example, let's imagine I live in World War II Holland and I am harboring a Jewish family which is hiding from the Nazis. If the Gestapo knocks on my door and asks me whether I know where this family is, my self-honest response is to lie to them, telling them I have no knowledge of this family.
In this example, the Gestapo are the ones being dishonest with themselves.
Always telling the truth to myself based on what I seem to know is not the definition of self-honesty.
For example, let's imagine I'm a young chess player who has just learned the game of chess. I hear about an opportunity to play against a chess master and I tell myself, "No way am I going to be able to beat such a master."
This sounds like being honest with myself, but have I listened inside to my inner voice? Maybe my inner voice is telling me not to judge by appearances. Perhaps my spirit is informing me that there is a miracle about to happen at the chess tournament if I would just listen inside and trust.
Seeing two separate people in relationship is not self-honesty.
The truth is we are all one. In the ego's world it's been convenient to allow our mind to be trained to seeing separation and believing in separation. But as science progresses there is more and more proof of what spiritual teachers have been telling us all along ... there is only one mind.
In 1999 in Salt Lake City one man harbored a grievance against the LDS Family History Library. He was frustrated and angry but did not act on his anger ... seemingly. Another man, a passerby who had no grievance at all with the library, suddenly entered the library, pulled out a gun, and started shooting people.
Psychics might say, "We are all connected," as if we are separate beings but in psychic association with each other. But are we really separate beings? Science is increasingly agreeing with spiritual teachers.
Ultimately I have little choice but to listen inside to my deepest inner truth to find out the truly self-honest response or the truly self-honest way of seeing things.
Being self-honest means being in-touch with my spirit and responding as my spirit would have me respond.
If somebody asks me, "How are you doing this morning?", I might be tempted to tune in to my sore muscles and answer, "I feel terrible!" But maybe if I listened to something deeper inside myself than my body or my emotions I would hear my inner voice counseling me to reply, "You know what? I couldn't be better!"
Why does my inner voice always counsel me to feel loving, joyous, energized, confident? Only because my true nature is loving, joyous, energized, and confident. My inner voice is honest to my true self and to what is really going on.
Self-honesty is defined as being consistent with my inner being and my inner knowledge.
So this week I want to work on a deeper self-honesty than I've ever worked on before. Yes, I want to guard against deceiving myself with respect to the facts. But I also want to look deeper within than ever before and find out facts that wouldn't have been apparent by looking at the surface.
Each day when I awaken I make a statement to myself of my dedication:
"Today I'm going to be more honest with myself than ever before!"
It does not matter if don't know how I am going to do this. The key here is to make the commitment. My subconscious mind is capable of doing the work without my conscious mind knowing how. I merely want to make the statement to myself enough times to start feeling the commitment.
Throughout the day I want to ask myself one question over and over again in many different situations. I might ask myself this question a thousand times during the day. The question is:
"Am I being honest with myself in this situation?"
The very act of asking will cause my inner being to respond. I will know without thinking about it intellectually whether I am being honest. With enough practice, I will begin to easily recognize the feeling of being honest with myself.
Before retiring each day this week I will say to myself a few times the statement of this week's lesson:
"Self-honesty brings me what I really, really want."
Then I ask myself one more time for the day, "What does it feel like to feel honest with myself?" As I fall asleep, I bask in the feeling of self-honesty.
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