"By giving of my heart and soul I sustain oneness!"
People who have been discouraged in relationships can be heard saying things like, "Relationships never work anyway!" Let me listen inside and see if this is true. Relationships never work anyway ... true or false?
I want to learn to listen deep inside for answers to such questions. I hope to guard against the temptation to answer with intellectual reasoning based on the way things appear. These kinds of questions need to be answered with the reasoning of the heart.
If I were to listen not to my heart but my ego, I might hear something like, "Yes, relationships never work anyway. Look around you at all the pain and suffering caused by relationships." But the ego doesn't really want me to feel happy anyway, so its answers can't be trusted.
Strangely, if I were to listen to my heart a "true" answer might also be heard, but not for the same reason. Very strictly speaking, relationships (implying "twoness") do not work, because what really works is ONENESS.
If one perceives two minds, two bodies, two hearts, two souls, etc., then there necessarily have to be two sets of vested interests. Within these two sets, many interests may be the same or similar, but some interests necessarily have to be different. Such a relationship is already conflicted by definition.
But this course is asserting there is a perfect partner for me and the entire universe is working to bring about our happiness together. Therefore the whole universe must be working to bring about with myself and my partner an experience of oneness.
Once upon a time there were two lovers who were so thoroughly in love with each other they were beyond being understood by earthlings. They lived for each other. "I give all of myself to my dear one!" was the unspoken motto of each. Neither one had a single interest which went against the interests of the other. Their interests were one.
Then very slowly at first, but gradually over time, they each began to hold part of themselves separate from the oneness. A little separate interest here. A little separate interest there. A little less giving of oneself here. A little less giving of oneself there.
Needless to say, their relationship became much more like the relationships earthlings are accustomed to seeing ... less than full giving of each other to each other, less than brightly glowing happiness, less than the unbelievable love they started with. They began resisting the gift of the universe instead of accepting.
My goal is nonresistance to the experience of oneness. With this week's lesson I wish to train myself to give of myself as never before, since this deep and full giving is the only way to have the experience of oneness.
Each day as I awaken I spend some time visualizing giving of myself in various conceivable situations I might encounter during the day. In my visualizations I might imagine my hands motioning from my heart to another, or from my soul (solar plexus) to another. I say to myself with each visualization:
"I give you my entire heart and soul and being!"
Then throughout the day during my hourly meditation breaks I close my eyes, take a few very deep breaths, and say a few times the statement of this week's lesson:
"By giving of my heart and soul I sustain oneness."
Before retiring for the day I ask my inner voice to give me reminders of instances during the day when my giving of myself was 100%, as well as instances when my giving of myself was less than complete. In no case do I feel guilty or blame myself for shortcomings. I merely attempt to pay attention to the difference in the way each feels inside myself, and the results.
How did it feel to give of myself 100%? What were the results? How did it feel to hold back my giving? What were the results?
As has become my practice, I let myself feel enormous gratitude before drifting off to sleep. I am learning an enormous lesson and gratitude is very appropriate. I might say one last time for the day:
"Right this minute I am giving all my heart and soul in gratitude!"
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Course in Political Miracles