"My commitment to my own happiness
brings me the relationship I want."
In the old flat-earth relationship technology it was thought that commitment to a relationship brought success in the relationship. Since that idea has not proven true, I have to be flexible enough to think that maybe the earth is round ... maybe the old thinking is 180 degrees off-target.
Lo and behold, it turns out that it is my commitment to my own happiness, to my own fulfillment, which brings me the relationship I want.
Although it might be hard to believe at first because our culture has been so brainwashed to think the old way, it turns out that committing to the relationship does nothing but sell me down the turbulent river of painful co-dependency.
In Ayn Rand's novel Atlas Shrugged, this week's principle is illustrated better than anywhere else. The relationship between Hank Reardon and his wife Lillian in the novel is a relationship in which both are fully, intensely ... and sickly ... committed to the relationship instead of their own inner happiness. The relationship between Dagney Taggart and her ultimate romantic partner is a totally different story as each lives first and foremost for the sake of their own happiness, raising their relationship to a level of incredible joy.
In Atlas Shrugged, Dagney Taggart always remained first and foremost true to her own happiness. Her first romantic relationship was total joy in all respects because her partner understood, as she did, that they must live for their own happiness above all else. In her second romantic relationship her partner was not so clear, but she herself stayed joyously above his occasional temptations to bring the relationship down. Her third romantic relationship went far beyond joy to the deepest fulfillment.
As an "outside reading assignment" for this course in heavenly relationships, I assign myself the pleasure of obtaining a copy of Atlas Shrugged and reading it with extra attention given to the dynamics at work in the relationships portrayed.
The main principle of this week's lesson, illustrated masterfully in Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged and some of her other works is this:
The relationship experiences in one's life are perfect reflections of one's sense of life.
This is another way of saying that if I prepare myself and focus my attention on what is really important, a relationship better than I could have dreamed of will form right in front of my eyes.
So I will begin each day this week, reminding myself of this week's lesson, by saying aloud to myself the lesson statement of the week several times over:
"My commitment to my own happiness brings me the relationship I want."
Then I take the next step by committing to my happiness. I say to myself a few times:
"Above all else today I will stay in-touch with my happiness."
I also take a few minutes to visualize situations which might possibly come up during the day which would tempt me to lose touch with my innate inner happiness. I see myself not yielding to such temptation.
In particular, with each such situation that comes to mind, I see myself noticing when I'm losing touch with my happiness ... stopping such nonsense ... turning around and looking back inside to where my happiness dwells... and happily greeting my happiness as it once again rises to the surface.
This exercise is especially effective in relationship contexts, so during the day every time a relationship situation arises in which I am tempted to lose sight of my happiness, I stop ... turn within to where my happiness dwells ... and greet my happiness with a little laugh as it again rises to the surface.
At the end of each day I review my progress for the day. If I remember incidents during the day when I forgot to turn to my happiness, I laugh because I know I am making progress anyway. If I remember incidents when I did remember to turn to my happiness, I smile because each such incident is worth more to me than a million dollars.
As I settle down ready for sleep I rejoice about the progress I really am making. Even minimum progress with this course is a billion times better than the struggle of the old-fashioned relationship technology.
Before falling asleep I say to myself one more time for the day:
"I am so grateful that my commitment to my own happiness is what brings me the relationship I want."
Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles