Holding grievances certainly has to be the most pain-producing, health-destroying, relationship-dissolving practice humans have invented. Innumerable wars, murders, destructive vendettas, courtroom fights, and relationship breakdowns have resulted from holding grievances.
Lives are ruined by holding grievances.
When grievances are held in mind, no one gains. Even if the person holding a grievance manages to feel temporary satisfaction when a comeuppance takes place, the damage from holding the grievance far outweighs the temporary satisfaction.
Grievances are killers.
Letting go of grievances is potentially the most natural mind action possible. We are born without grievances. We die without grievances. We become enlightened without grievances. Being free of grievances is totally natural.
Yet as natural as it may be to hold no grievances, it may not be easy to let go of a particular grievance in an emotionally charged situation. Letting go may take a very firm decision. Nonetheless since being without grievances is my natural state, when I do decide to let go of a grievance I have all the strength in the universe working to that end.
A powerful key for my success in relationship is the firm decision to let go of any and all grievances quickly ... as quickly as I might notice them in my mind. This is known as "forgiveness," and there is nothing impossible to forgive because letting go is merely a choice.
So how do I train my mind to let go of any and all grievances?
First it is necessary to be honest with myself and admit when I am tempted to hold a grievance. Then with each grievance that comes to mind I must decree as many times as it takes or as long as it takes for the grievance to substantially weaken or disappear a statement like the following:
"Holding this grievance is not my natural state. There is nothing that cannot be forgiven, so this too I release."
The idea is to say such a statement aloud over and over until I feel forgiveness happening. The sound vibration created by the "chanting" cleans out negative energy and I then more easily get in touch with my spirit deep inside which releases and forgives automatically.
People who have had near-death experiences almost always report something like: "When I knew I was dying, all the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders. Nothing on earth mattered any longer. Absolutely total forgiveness was automatic."
By practicing releasing grievances I am training my ego, the part of me which likes to hold grievances, to "die" every moment in the sense of "expand into light" every moment. What remains when grievances are gone is peace and happiness, and actual enjoyment in knowing:
"My relationships are safe because there is nothing which cannot be forgiven."
Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles