gives me the relationship I want!"
With last week's lesson I saw that guilt leads to the destruction of relationships. This week I expand the principle beyond one specific form of worry based on past actions (guilt) to all forms of worry in general.
It would be impossible to name a worry of any kind that does not have fear as its base and I know from experience I cannot be in fear and in love at one and the same moment. So I know from experience that the very essence of successful relationships, love, is not present in moments of worry.
It's as simple as this: while I am worrying, I am not in love.
Of course I can quit worrying and return to love, but during the moments I am worrying I am not in love.
Someone might argue, "Hey, who cares? As long as you are loving most of the time."
But why would I want to worry at all? Worry doesn't taste good, fouling my mouth and giving me bad breath; worry doesn't smell good, causing unpleasant body odor; and worry doesn't feel good, robbing me of the only feeling that is natural, joyous, and healthy ... the feeling of love.
No one can enjoy for very long being in relationship with a worrier.
It's also true that worrying never solved anything. Worry is useless.
Well no, worry is not useless to the ego. The ego wants me to suffer, so worry serves a very good ego purpose. Worry is an ego device to have me suffering about future possibilities which have not yet happened and may never happen.
Some might argue, "At least when I worry about someone it shows that I care!"
That's what the ego would have us believe ... that we can care for someone or help someone by suffering inside ourselves. But I am increasingly learning that the ego does not have any one's best interests in mind.
When I look more carefully, I see that the only way to truly care for someone or help someone is by the opposite of worrying ... trusting.
If I worry about a friend, for example, I could literally send out enough negative energy to cause the very happening I fear, like a self-fulfilling prophecy. On the other hand, if I trust my friend is going to be alright, I am sending such a boost of positive energy that miracles will happen all around to keep him or her out of trouble.
In other words, worry makes things worse. Trusting heals and makes things better.
But how do I keep myself from worrying?
Well, how about training my mind to trust?
Each day this week as I awaken I will say slowly aloud to myself 10 or 15 times over:
"Today if I catch myself starting to worry, I will stop and switch to trust."
I repeat this statement slowly in order to give my subconscious mind time to show me mental pictures of possible situations that could arise during the day where I might be tempted to worry.
With each situation I'm shown, the statement I am using should automatically engender a picture in my mind of switching from worry to trust. If my subconscious mind doesn't give me such a mental picture, I create such a picture in my mind by activating my imagination consciously.
Then each hour during the day, I take 5 minutes of meditation to again use the same statement or some similar statement such as:
"This coming hour if I'm tempted to worry, I will switch to trust."
"I can't help (name situation) by worrying, but I can help by trusting."
"If I worry, things will get worse. If I trust, miracles will start happening like I've never seen."
Finally at the end of each day I will consciously attempt to access the feeling of total trust inside myself and hold onto the feeling as long as possible. To help access the feeling I might say to myself:
"Total trust ... are you there? I want to feel you. What do you feel like?"
If I ask persistently enough, the feeling will come. Then I merely make a determination to keep the feeling present and stay with the feeling.
Before falling to sleep, I might say to myself:
"I go to sleep with trust as my friend! I will awaken with trust as my partner!"
Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles
"Whatever I REALLY need is what I have!"
I might think my needs are for success, recognition, money ... while my soul might really need the peace of a quiet existence on the edge of civilization. Someone else who thinks a slow-moving autonomous existence is ideal might really need to become the center of attention in a great whirlwind of world-changing activity.
As one famous spiritual course teaches, I don't really know what is in my own best interests.
After I've pursued what I think are my best interests a few times and been shown by the universe that none of these pursuits satisfied my soul, the idea might dawn on me that the universe knows better than my own thinking mind what is good for me.
Then I become teachable and surrendered to the guidance of the universe. Some might call it "flowing with the flow." Life becomes a lot easier and more enjoyable.
The primary reason why flowing with the flow is so enjoyable is that the universe is always providing me with what I really need. Somewhere in the depths of my soul, hidden from my conscious mind, I have awareness of my real needs and my soul is capable of rejoicing even when I'm going through a soul lesson which is painful to my ego.
Regarding painful lessons, the same famous spiritual course teaches that all things are lessons God would have me learn. Whatever one's concept of "God," even if one is an atheist, it's easy to conceive that everything one is going through, even the painful stuff, is teaching.
For illustration, I can think of my soul as a blind navigator feeling its way along. Everything in life that I experience as "right on" indicates to me I'm on course. Everything that is painful or doesn't seem to work.... "Oops! Time for a course correction!"
Finally when I've seen clearly how the universe teaches and guides me, I have no choice but to conclude that the learning of my soul is right on schedule. Whatever I really need is what I have.
To integrate this new way of thinking, I want to start each day with a long meditation during which I allow my subconscious mind to give me mental pictures of all kinds of situations where I think I need something. With each such picture, I slowly, deliberately say, "But the truth is.... what I really need I already have."
All throughout each day I continue to watch for times when I lapse into thinking I need something I don't have. When I catch such lapses, I say to my mind:
"No! Whatever I REALLY need ... is what I have!"
Also available free of charge online:
Course in Political Miracles